“Billy Milano is 53. Let that sink in a while. If you grew up worshiping S.O.D. and his later offshoot act, M.O.D., or had the pleasure of being annihilated by him in the mosh pits of L’Amour Brooklyn, it’s almost impossible to imagine the man as anything but the loud mouth, barrel chested bruiser he was back in the 80s and 90s. We all grow up though. We all get older, change and evolve. All except Billy, that is.” Hardcore is a lifestyle choice.
“What do you get when you cross a werewolf with a goat? If you guessed “39 minutes of barbaric blackened death metal,” congratulations and welcome to a world where the only thing more bestial than the music is the sexual activity it describes.” Animal husbandry.
“Titties, rippling muscles, a motorcycle, and a horde of miscreants — what’s not to love about that artwork? Add in a promo blurb billing Weapönizer as a band for fans of everything from Deströyer 666 to The Road Warrior and I’m more curious than a 12-year-old boy outside a sleazy gentlemen’s club.” Law is for posers.
“It’s occurred to me that when I go stoner, more times than not, I tend to lean against bands just west of me. Bands like Kyuss, Sleep, High on Fire—all residing in sunny California. Funny enough, my favorite stoner outfit is all the way out in England. Hell, if you were to look at my stoner collection, you’d think Orange Goblin was an outlier and that stoner metal was an American thing. And my review of Temptation’s Wings newest record wouldn’t challenge that assumption. And now, the stoner bug has bit old Grier once again. I desire something to make my eyes puffy, my ears happy, and chill me the fuck out.” Lead or gold?
“18 albums into their crusade to bring Kansas proto-metal to the masses and Manilla Road keeps right on truckin’. To Kill a King is yet another cobblestone on their pathway to Vahalla and predictably delivers a flying buttress of epic, olde-timey metal mixed with doom and 70s hard rock, sounding like Atlantean Kodex would if the current members were replaced by dirty bikers.” The crime you’ve selected is… regicide.
“Hailing from the windy city, Broken Hope are known for dealing in what could be referred to as second-tier Suffocation or Deicide-inspired death metal, with some healthy Napalm Death grindcore influence.” Hope is never lost, just a bit broken.
“Sometimes, when that flight of masochistic fancy hits, we here at AMG like to play a little game lovingly referred to as Promo Roulette – not unlike Russian Roulette, but with every chamber loaded with disaster and disappointment. The powers that be randomly assign a project, comfortable in the knowledge that the first, last and only rule of said gamble is: the house always wins. On occasion, however, it is possible to steal a non-fatal cranial grazing and happen upon something worthwhile. So when the relative quality of Akatharta’s debut, Spiritus Immundus, rebounded off my ferrous hide and into my lap, I was pleasantly surprised.” You got lucky, Beuller!
“In Human Form has me trapped in a corner. In addition to being a mouthful, Opening of the Eye by the Death of the I has seen my prosaic muse torn to pieces. I doubt this current dry spell stems from a lack of comprehension, but I pray nonetheless for a moment of clarity to absolve this torment. An undertaking this ambitious and idiosyncratic surely has a story to tell, but my thoughts are born dead, the empty words of an overactive imagination.” Open the mind or die.
“The promo selection at AMG is a brutal process. If you are late to the game, all the good stuff has been picked by the vultur- I mean, my colleagues, and your choices are reduced to black metal, metalcore or symphonic metal (which nearly always means Nightwishcore.) I was late this time, and Jorn help me, I picked symphonic power metal album Phoenix Aflame completely blind. I recall my last thought before my own private hell was unleashed: “Can’t be worse than Akoma.” The early bird gets the Wormrot.
“Some 20 years ago, several prominent NOLA scene members activated Goatwhore and a new beast and underground supergroup was born, most notably featuring Acid Bath/Crowbar axeslinger Sammy Duet and Soilent Green frontman Ben Falgoust. It took a while before Goatwhore perfected their blasphemous style of sludgy, death-infused black metal, striking pay-dirt with the back-to-back punch of 2006’s A Haunting Curse and 2009’s Carving Out the Eyes of God. Since then they’ve been treading water with a couple of solid but less engaging albums, lacking the staying power of their best work.” Goats are excellent swimmers.
