Apocalypse

Tarchon Fist – Apocalypse Review

Tarchon Fist – Apocalypse Review

“What? You thought Victorious was gonna be the only metal band we reviewed here with bright colors and dinosaurs in their album art? Fools! The lot of ye! Tarchon Fist, an Italian heavy metal quintet formed in 2005, demands representation in the land of outlandish tapestries bursting with muscular sword-dudes and rampant nonsense. I summoned Apocalypse from the post-apocalyptic wasteland that is August’s promotional dump site because I believed the metal deities wouldn’t permit such artwork were it not for the righteous wares forged therein.” Fist of the Past.

Lonewolf – The Fourth and Final Horseman Review

Lonewolf – The Fourth and Final Horseman Review

“It’s unfortunate that French heavy metal band Lonewolf’s sixth studio album had to be next on Happy Metal Guy’s reviewing list right after he reviewed this. But well, it’s too bad—that’s just how life is. When life splashes lemonade on you, use a pail to collect every drop of it dutifully, obtain citric acid crystals from it and use them to produce pesticide.” Well, not every album can be White Wizzard, whatever that means.