“The creeping regularity of life has toppled many; for some, it’s the barrel of the next coffee-fueled third shift staring them down; for others, it’s another dreary adventure in cubeland. For me, it’s every death metal band that I’ve never heard of from Southern Europe.” South of the blunder.
“In the mid-90’s, Cathedral was turning into a household name in the realms of British doom. The steaming, sleazy groove of the quartet was best described as the midway point of Black Sabbath, Clutch and Mötorhead, and has seen its fair share of progeny (like The Necromancers, for instance.) Unbeknownst to many, the band had a side project simmering away in the form of Septic Tank, which was often mentioned between the members but was kicked down the road as much as that novel you intend to write sometime. Five years after Cathedral’s dissolution, the side project has sprung back to life with three of its original four members, including bassist Scott Carlson, guitar player Gaz Jennings and vocalist Lee Dorrian.” We’re getting the cesspool back together!
““The heart wants what the heart wants,” though trite, succinctly sums up how we’re only interested in feeding our own desires. Biases, predilections, call it what you will – this inertia keeps us in a constant orbit around our personal sun and clarifying why we won’t, or can’t break free is a sometimes elusive task. I’m no different, scratch my skin and what oozes out is a clump of thrash cells. This can be explained away by Metallica being the Vergil to my Dante, guiding me down a spiraling path that was followed by Megadeth, Pantera and Machine Head.” Reign in kaos.
“I’ve been a fan of England’s Coldbones since the very beginning of this review. Though the trio of Tory’s has been doing their cold and bony thing since at least 2014, I began this adventure with zero prior exposure to these kids from Kent, selecting this one solely for the band name. Progressive shoegaze may be the genre tag, but the imagery evoked by that namesake brought tidings of darkness just as grim as blackened—anything and I was worried that there was too much happiness in my life as of late, so here we are at Where It All Began. Now let’s, like, begin.” Shoe believer.
“Autokrator and I go way back. Pursuant to my crucifixion of their unlistenable debut, one of the band members wrung me out over my continuing jabs at the group and, I assume, made sure that this august publication would never catch wind of their sophomore release. According to the wishes of both parties, I neither listened to nor reviewed the effort. So it was with both surprise and unease that I pulled their third LP, Hammer of the Heretics, from the promo bin. And wouldn’t you know? Everything that made me hate Autokrator has disappeared.” Beef resolved.
“Holy Terror was a special band. Though only active for a few short years, they released two of the best thrash albums of the 80s, mixing speed and real heaviness with both progressive and rock influences to create something truly unique. Those albums are among my most beloved and they never, ever sound stale. When I saw a band in the promo sump bearing the name of Mindwars (Holy Terror’s brilliant second album), with an album titled Do Unto Others (a song on that brilliant album), my curiosity was certainly piqued.” Psychic warriors unite!
“Blackened death metal is like pizza. Just as mediocre pizza is still generally satisfying, so too is decent blackened death metal still pretty enjoyable when you’re craving something extreme. Case in point: Chicago’s Blood of the Wolf.” Blood pizza (with pineapple).
“Skan is The UK’s largest Optical and Technical Glass Warehouse and Applications Hub. The band Škan is the focus of this review. You’ll have to visit our affiliate site for a review of the UK Glass Warehouse Skan. A caron rides the s of Škan’s mysterious aplomb; similarly Death Crown, the debut album by this multi-national four-piece, is a mysterious and constantly morphing animal that one will find difficult to put one’s finger on.” Tech-glass is the new black.
“They say good things comes to those who wait. I’m not sure who “they” are in this situation – You? The silent cabal of shadow and influence puppeting our every step? The burger people? – but “they” are certainly shooting too low. If my band devoted nine years of blood, spit, and shit to a debut release, good wouldn’t be good enough. Thusly, we enter Transition. Dissatisfaction courses through the ranks of AMG’s death metal connoisseurs; a recent dearth of quality old school death metal offers Inisans a chance to catch their eye. It’s up to the Swedes to snatch the brass ring.” The mob demands death.
“The man who annually renders your complaints of “not enough time” null and void by spearheading a million bands per annum, Mr. Rogga Johansson returns once again with The Grotesquery, packed to capacity with classic death metal and riffs a-plenty. Having once more conjured Kam Lee from beyond for another round of retro death metal, fourth record, The Lupine Anathema, embarks on a pseudo-concept centered around the legend of the werewolf.” Eyes bigger than your stomach, eh Wolfie?
