“As a metal reviewer, I, every so often, have to describe the music I’m hearing. Using complex vocabulary, a plethora of unnecessary adjectives, and textures as real as your blind uncle’s toilet seat, I force you to feel, hear, and taste the album I’m reviewing. If you think that’s easy, you’re wrong. ‘Tis hard. Thankfully, for all you, I’m the master of my domain.” Touch nothing, hear everything.
