Architects

Through the Noise – Dualism Review

Through the Noise – Dualism Review

“This is sure to come as a surprise, what with the kvlt as fvck album art and all, but Through the Noise are about as trve as Santa. With their accessible angst and envelope-friendly chuggatry, these Swedes crabwalk the thick, downtuned line between nü-metal and metalcore, and by all rights, Dualism should have been inflicted upon a n00b. However, there have been far too many 4.0’s awarded as ov late, and I would be remiss to turn down an opportunity to bring you bastards crashing back down to reality, so we are here.” Punishment is due.

The Machinist – Confidimus in Morte Review

The Machinist – Confidimus in Morte Review

“Those who liked deathcore in its mid-2000s heyday tend to go through three phases in the following order: 1) earnestly liking deathcore, 2) loudly decrying deathcore to demonstrate one’s extreme metal fides, and 3) earnestly liking deathcore again with the added fun of nostalgia. This nostalgia doesn’t make bad music good, but rather recalls times, places, experiences, and memories where deathcore served as the soundtrack. Those times made us happy, and the soundtrack is what it is because that’s the soundtrack we chose. It follows that deathcore made us happy at one point. The vicarious thrill of great memories scored by it bolsters the appeal of the sounds which drew us in to begin with. You may not be able to go home again, but sometimes spinning the old records left in the dusty crates is wonderful.” The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Aktaion – The Parade of Nature Review

Aktaion – The Parade of Nature Review

“Here at AMG, one of my biggest challenges (besides suppressing my gag reflex when cleaning out the office refrigerator) is trying to keep my reviews to a tidy length. Between describing a band’s sound and influences, elaborating on the various songs, bitching about the production, and writing shitty and superfluous opening paragraphs, it can be hard to squeeze all my thoughts into only 700 or so words. Fortunately Aktaion’s sophomore outing The Parade of Nature is the rare record which can be accurately described in a single term: Gojira-core.” That’s better than gorilla-core at least.

The Human Abstract – Digital Veil Review

The Human Abstract – Digital Veil Review

One of the things that I consistently tell people when they give me shit (which they inevitably do) about my taste in music is that you should call a spade a spade and like what you like without apologies. That doesn’t mean that I don’t have biases, however, and one of those biases that I have is against things that can be labelled as “metalcore” or “deathcore.” Since the early aughts we’ve been plagued by shitty record after shitty record from post-hardcore entities that have been passed off on us as the next big thing and that have ultimately felt sad and tired and not good. I recently ripped into Architects, for example, for being billed as ‘reinventing metalcore and themselves,’ only to produce an epic fail of a record.

Against the Flood – Against the Flood Review

Against the Flood – Against the Flood Review

So apparently the UK has a lively metalcore and deathcore scene that is being picked up and flown around the world right now. Against the Flood is one of those bands that sits right on the border between the two genres (which are basically just one genre if you look at their girl jeans and stupid hair cuts) and who have taken from me nearly 60 minutes of my life that I will never, ever, ever, ever get back. As a punishment, I will pee on them publicly, from my blog (and wait for their stupid oaf fans, and buddies, to come here and insult me).

Architects – The Here and Now Review

Architects – The Here and Now Review

I know very little about J Pop. It’s quite popular among Swedish alternative kids (though, I might be behind since it seems like everyone’s all obsessed with South Korea now?) and I know that I can’t hear what they’re singing about (and that it makes me feel happy). But what I’ve heard is that in Japan there’s a new trend every quarter and that when that trend is done, the pop stars are done. They have a shelf-life of three months. No one takes them seriously and not a single person in the entire country would take them seriously as “artists” because, well, they’re not. They’re pop stars, engineered to sell music for kids obsessed with trends. Metal has trends, and really, people, it does, metalcore in the early 2000s was the coolest thing EVER and a bunch of bands who were all doing exactly the same thing got signed. But, of course, established labels are slow on the pick up of trends and so 4 years after the trend really started getting hot and relevant Century Media and Metal Blade started having bidding wars over metalcore bands. The year is 2011 and they’re stuck with these bands. And I can’t think of anyone who isn’t super fucking sick of this sound. But I sure as hell am. This sound had a shelf life of about.. oh, I dunno, 3 months. And it should’ve stayed there.