aug2016

Hellbringer – Awakened from the Abyss Review

Hellbringer – Awakened from the Abyss Review

“Much like veganism, not liking Slayer is completely beyond my comprehension. Why would anyone deny themselves the great stuff which food and metal have to offer them? Once you reach either point of denial, why not fully commit and start only listening to records with a 2 or below on the DR and/or AMG scale, only drinking wine that comes in an oversized juice box, or talking about philosophy exclusively with stoners? If you, for some reason or another, feel the utmost need to deny yourself the pleasure of indulging in great things, you’re in luck!” If you’re not into Slayer, you are not my friend!

Gloryful – End of the Night Review

Gloryful – End of the Night Review

“Those looking for great prose don’t turn to a dictionary. Instead, a writer opens up the ol’ Merriam-Webster tome to get himself a clinical definition of whatever word he happens to be unsure about. With that step out of the way, our writer can hopefully make something great using the technical knowledge he gained. While he’ll remember the dictionary definition, it will never be inspiring to him; it will just be a reminder about what the word means and how to use it correctly in context. When listening to Gloryful’s third record, End of the Night, I kept coming back to dictionaries. It sounds like heavy metal and I suppose it technically is.” Glory is for winners.

Delain – Moonbathers Review

Delain – Moonbathers Review

“Metal bands sure like to take baths in a wide variety of places, be it in the sun, in blood, in ghosts, in wombs, in entrails, or in whatever “slaughtb” is. Me, I’m more of a shower guy. A nice cold shower helps you think, and tons of great ideas come to be in there, but sometimes you get this introductory bit. It seems that the Dutchmen and Dutchwomen in Delain have suggested a new place for our metallic hygienic niche to take place on their fifth album: the moon.” Delain got a tongue lashing from AMG for being normcore back in 2012. Will DiM be nicer than he was?