“It’s entirely unsurprising that Weedpecker reside on the same label’s roster as Elder. Both feature groovy, stoner riffs, are progressive and are drug-fueled to differing extents. Fortunately, unlike Elder, Weedpecker aren’t unrelentingly average; in fact, they’re drastically superior.” Superior drugs make for superior rock.
“Back when I was a carefree graduate student, the band was a fairly typical sword and sorcery themed Euro-power outfit. Despite an artery clogging cheese quotient, the sheer infectious strength of albums like Tales of Mystery and Imagination and The Sacred Talisman all but forced you to get your Balrogs to the wall. Everything changed when Jonny Lindqvist joined as vocalist for 2000s Afterlife opus, slowly shifting the style into a more hard rock oriented sound.” Back from the ash hole of metal history.
“Enter Seven Spires, a Boston-based act I blindly picked as a personal punching bag after going soft from weeks of reviewing great material. Featuring Adrienne Cowan of Light and Shade (a band we largely panned last year), their debut Solveig, armed with the most excruciatingly mediocre cover art of the year, is doomed to fail… right?” Books, covers, judgments, etc.
“I know you. You’re like me. You took one look at that hein(ie)ous album title, shook your head, and reported yourself to HR. The obliquely-named Return of the Cosmic Men marks the second effort from French power outfit Galderia, a band whose 2012 debut The Universality was decent but notable only for its group of eight vocal contributors. If Galderia wanted to beat my exceedingly low expectations, they were going to have to show me something special.” Who ordered the special with extra cheese?
“Selene are a relatively new symphonic metal band based in Belfast, Ireland. I’m not going to get on a high (or low) horse about the genre: if you like symphonic metal, you’ll read this review, and if you don’t you’ll scroll down and look for something nastier. It’s all good to me.” Nightmiss.
“Nils Patrik Johansson is a busy guy. Over the last two decades, the man’s cashed checks with the on-again, off-again Lion’s Share, the on-hiatus Wuthering Heights, and Civil War, who he recently bailed on because he didn’t have the time (go figure). His work arguably peaked with the momentous output of Astral Doors.” When one war closes, an Astral Door opens.
“Last time around, Steel Druhm summed up both Emerald’s Unleashed and career with one line: “You’ve heard it a zillion times before from far superior bands.” Reckoning Day makes strides towards memorability, but old habits die hard….” Precious.
“Can a death-grind equivalent of Avantasia featuring members of Cynic, Anthrax and Bolt Thrower possibly live up to its pedigree?” The Stench Price is too damn high!
“Though I’ll admit to having steered clear of “Christian metal” over the years due to some silly, small-minded prejudices, there have been exceptions that slowly opened my eyes. Trouble began life as a “white metal” act and I still loved them intensely, and little known Barren Cross caught me in a weirdly inescapable web of hooks with their Atomic Arena album back in 88. Much more recently I was completely blown away by Theocracy’s 2011 opus As the World Bleeds, which mixed bombastic power with prog and classic metal in a way that suited me down to my nonspiritual bones.” It’s high time to get some religion!
“When Steel Druhm pitched my weekly Hot Pocket and Fanta allotment down the Well of Rookie Souls, he shouted something about it being “ultra mega super cheesy.” I thought he meant my pepperoni-infused beauties, but it turns out he was talking about the cheese-nuke of an assignment he dropped on my work slab.” Loosen the jazz hands.
