Avenged Sevenfold

The Offering – Home Review

The Offering – Home Review

“In 2017, Boston band The Offering dropped a self-titled—and killer—EP that got them noticed by Century Media. Well, it’s time to check out their debut full-length Home, so grab something olde, something nü, something growled, and something blues, because today we’ll be haunting the chapel to see if the band can successfully marry an unhealthy number of musical influences into a cohesive whole.” Holy headlock!

Anthrocene – Nucleation Review

Anthrocene – Nucleation Review

“We rarely get lyric sheets with promos. Usually, this doesn’t matter much, as metal lyrics are rarely pinnacles of literary prowess. There’s only so many ways to say that humanity sucks or to discuss the finer points of fighting dragons with flaming swords. As a result, it’s often easy to miss the fact that an album has a concept unless you read it on the promo sheet. Not so with Anthrocene, who went several miles beyond a lyric sheet; with their debut Nucleation they included an entire comic, the speech bubbles and narration forming the lyrics of the hour-long album, revolving around an apocalyptic story of a misanthropic lumberjack turned into a planet-immolating creature by an agent of chaos from beyond the void.” Comic sans!!

In Flames – I, the Mask Review

In Flames – I, the Mask Review

“Let’s get one thing straight. In Flames is not a melodic death metal band anymore, and they haven’t been for quite a while. This is not in and of itself a bad thing. It’s just the way it is. That being said, The Jester Race was a magnificent piece of Gothenburg melodeath. The band has since become the Law of Diminishing Recordings’ main bitch and haven’t been able to get out from under that role. Yet I, opportunist that I am, was all too eager to snatch their thirteenth effort I, the Mask from the grubby claws of the AMG Consortium.” Snatch and sob.

Avenged Sevenfold – The Stage [Things You Might Have Missed 2016]

Avenged Sevenfold – The Stage [Things You Might Have Missed 2016]

“If you’re anything like me, you have probably avoided Avenged Sevenfold for a long time after hearing their older work, which was so firmly planted in the land of metalcore it didn’t seem like they would climb out of it at any point. Though they did display some growth on their work past City of Evil, they continued to be a turn-off with juvenile lyrics that tried far too hard to be edgy. So if you’re anything like me, you might be skeptical when I say The Stage is a great progressive metal album. Yet here we are.” Yep, here we are all right.

Cognition – Procession of Thoughts Review

Cognition – Procession of Thoughts Review

“When I was saddled with West Virginia natives Cognition’s sophomore LP Procession of Thoughts, it was with the impression that I would be receiving a prog album to review. Neither I, nor the powers that be, had any indication that this was not the case. Every piece of promotional material released by the band comes with a “progressive metal” descriptor and a giant eye, one of the genre’s many stalwart symbols, graces an awkwardly framed cover which absolutely screams prog. Despite all meters pointing straight to wankery, it took me less than a minute to realize that I had been duped.” Cognitive dissonance.

Madam X’s Top Ten(ish) of 2013

Madam X’s Top Ten(ish) of 2013

“Wow, what a year! A large portion of 2013 has had me working my ass off in preparation for my stint out at sea with 70,000 Tons of Pure Fucking METAL! I’ve tried to curtail my excitement, but fuck it, this is huge – Carcass, Septicflesh, Finntroll, Overkill… what more could a girl ask for?” As Madam X shamelessly drops free plugs for a certain novelty cruise line, she also delivers her best albums of the year. That lady can multi-task!

Ennead – Frozen Eyes Review

Ennead – Frozen Eyes Review

It is, as you all know, difficult to keep up with the number of unsigned bands that we get music from. But, usually as a matter of luck, I occasionally decide that I have time to check something out (or I’m just avoiding my work). Fortunately, I followed the link to a Bandcamp (that’s usually a thing that gets me to click unsigned bands) for some itsy-bitsy, teeny, teeny, teeny-tiny Swedish metalcore-influenced prog-metallers Ennead who are writing music better than a lot of signed acts that I get these days when they can’t even grow facial hair. Sometimes I follow links and am unimpressed and turn the shit off, saving the band face. In this case, however, Ennead snuck up on me and surprised—and impressed—the hell out of me.