Bethlehem

Teloch – Thus Darkness Spake Review

Teloch – Thus Darkness Spake Review

“Progress can be a hard thing to accept. Whether you’re talking about laws being made, a review being worked on, or something just as simple as changing up your daily routine, throwing any type of wrench into the gears to liven things up a bit can be met with an unreasonable amount of resistance from certain people. Case in point? Finland’s Teloch.” Progress is for posers!

Funeste – Le Triomphe du Charnier Review

Funeste – Le Triomphe du Charnier Review

“There’s always risk involved when you reach into the Grymm Grab Bag™. Sometimes, I unearth gems that impress and floor me, and then I get those that just don’t even. I can say with absolute confidence that I’ve never pulled a release from not only a new band, but also from a new label, and that is exactly what I grabbed this week.” Grymm likes to gamble.

Vehemenz – Vehemenz Review

Vehemenz – Vehemenz Review

“Nothing annoys me more than when artists hype up their work beyond perceivable notions. You know what I’m talking about. “It needed to be visceral.” (adorable, Linkin Park). “…unique, not following trends” (right, Savn)? It’s just better for everyone involved to just shut the hell up and let the music do all the communication for you instead of throwing out false pretenses in hopes that maybe someone out in the Nethersphere will somehow agree with you. In other words, take a note from Germany’s Vehemenz, who have managed to grab my attention and kept me musically fixated and grinning ear-to-ear with their self-titled debut 5-song EP, all without overhyping the ever-loving shit out of it.” We at AMG will tolerate no guff, bullhockey or hype. None!

Vanhelga – Längtan Review

Vanhelga – Längtan Review

“My childhood was a blur, but I had a rather distinct memory of someone from the First Grade. Remember when you were a kid, if you did something exemplary, your teacher would reward you with a sticker to show for your efforts? There was a kid in my class named Jason (last name escapes me) who won a “You’re the Cat’s MEOW!!!” sticker, complete with purring kitty and stars bedazzling the pre-Comic Sans font in gold letters. After slapping the sticker on his wrist, Jason was dismayed that due to adolescent sweating and kid grubbiness, it wouldn’t stick. Luckily, he had the grand idea that stapling the sticker to the underside of his wrist would be a nice way to permanently show off his rewards. Gleefully, Jason ran around the room, giggling incessantly and displaying the proud reward of his efforts as color drained from his face and blood jizzed from his arm, both at an alarming rate.” Grown up Jason would like this band.

Shining – 8 ½ – Feberdrömmar I Vaket Tillstånd Review

Shining – 8 ½ – Feberdrömmar I Vaket Tillstånd Review

“I came across Shining for the first time while reading Angry Metal Guy’s Best Heavy Metal Songs of All Time back in 2011. Since then Kvarforth and his menagerie of Scandinavian black metal projects and collaborations (Shining, Skitliv, Diabolicum, Den Saakaldte and Bethlehem) have been a constant on my playlist. I’d go so far as to say that, were I to have some kind of guarantee that it would arrive on my sunny shores, I would absolutely order a copy of When Prozac No Longer Helps – hand numbered in Kvarforth’s blood of course!” Madam X and Kvarforth are clearly a match made by the Sid & Nancy Dating Service and/or Hell. Will love blossom once again or will the knives come out?