“The life of the unpaid, overworked metal reviewer is not an easy one. The reviewing collective at AMG lurches from one new release to the next, errors and nOObs strewn in our wake. But what if, once in a while, the collective paused to take stock and consider the discography of those bands that shaped many a taste? What if two three aspects of the AMG collective personality shared with the slavering masses their personal rankings of that discography.” Incantagories.
“Now, technically, Egregore’s full title is, ahem, The Word of His Law: An Address to Abraxas in His Time and Place, Through His Grand Viseer, Thine Pansychopompos. If that gives you any idea, this duo fuses their chaotic tunes with a shroud of supernatural haze that represents their occult nature. Punctuating aural punishment with layers of guitar, synth, and chanting, and undergirded by an unhinged aesthetic, you can expect your ears to bleed, but by, I don’t know, ghosts?” The Code of Harambe.
“To say “brutal black metal” is like being pummeled by razor blades. Black metal is not a internal bleeding type of genre, but one whose sinister tremolo, shrieks, and blastbeats imply scathing and sharp–a death by a thousand cuts. But if brutal is your cup of tea, intensity is the brand, fleshing out the bottom-end and pumping steroids into black metal clichés (if anyone has a picture of absolutely jacked Abbath, I would be much obliged). Basically Horncrowned.” Razor bath.
“From MTV’s Jersey Shore to the actual Jersey Shore, New Jersey has vomited all sorts of nasty filth upon this planet. Sitting among this garbage heap is death metal duo Siege Column, a project of Jersey underground veteran Joe Aversario and his partner in crime, “Shawnslaught Skullkrusher.”” Siege the day.
“Speed metal and Canada have a happy history together, and the top three connections are probably early Razor, Exciter, and the Banzai Records “Speed Metal” wheel. 2020 brings us a blistering reminder of Canada’s importance to speed in the form of reactivated British Columbia speed metal band Witches Hammer.” Hammering covens since the 80s.
“It’s funny how time works. One day you’re 16 and listening to HIM’s Razorblade Romance, the next you’re in your 30s and reviewing a band called Blasphamagoatachrist. I suspect my own journey into the Extreme was similar to many others. From the day distorted guitars first graced my ears, I felt a gentle pull towards what I now know of as the Black Hole of Extremity, that invisible eternal force that constantly beckons us to seek out MORE.” Blasphemy goats and goals.
“Time to draw ourselves a Slaughtbbath, folks. What bathing in slaughtb feels like is known to those who heard 2013’s Hail to Fire, the predecessor of Alchemical Warfare and Slaughtbbath’s debut. I took a Slaughtbbath many times via Hail to Fire, which is the least important qualification I possess to review that record’s successor. My most important qualification? Look at my pen name, and then look at the title of this record; Slaughtbbath and I share an enjoyment of gratuitous Slayer puns.” Rub-a-drub-drub.
“Once someone gets into extreme metal, they find a point of glorious musical stupidity that they gravitate to. This point is normally either war metal (i.e. Revenge, GoatPenis, Conqueror) or the most delightfully moronic slam (i.e. the first Abominable Putridity record, Cephalotripsy). How did these endpoints come to be?” Dear Diario.
“Bestial war metal. It’s an evocative name, isn’t it? Succinct. Direct. Descriptive. You’re not getting pretentious instrumentation, or strange ancient languages, or complicated metaphors about the modern condition. Raw, primal, direct black metal designed to quicken the pulse is the name of this game. Enter Cult of Extinction, a one-man war metal band hailing from Germany, and the brain-child of the mysterious Void.” War metal. What’s it good for?
“Pretense is a bitch. I’ve found myself being more and more cynical through the years about people who claim to be the best at what they do. From athletes and artists to people I interact with on a daily basis, I prefer action and art to speak for itself. Therefore, I found myself suspicious with Filipino blackened death metal three-piece Deiphago, who proclaim to be ‘arguably the most violent band on the planet, as well as one of the most envelope-pushing.'” Heavy is as heavy does.
