![Horrific Demise – Excruciating Extermination [Things You Might Have Missed 2019]](https://www.angrymetalguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/12/Horrific-Demise-Excruciating-Extermination-01.jpg)
“It’s winter again, and Ulver’s first three records express the beauty and wonder of the season that left us when we grew up and got annoyed at clearing a foot of snow off our cars so we can dutifully trudge to work. Horrific Demise’s debut record Excruciating Extermination conjures a world where Harambe comes back and decides to use your scrotum as a speedbag. That’s right, it’s one of these again.” Ouch.
“Vore, for the blissfully unaware amongst us, is one of the stranger fetishes the internet has given a home. It is the fetish for being consumed. Yes, like in Bloodbath’s “Eaten.” In their infinite wisdom, the internet has even made sub-categories to such a specific fetish, namely soft vore (being swallowed whole) and hard vore (to see your body ripped and torn). Now, I don’t know why Birmingham’s Opium Lord decided to name their sophomore album after this infamous fetish. Their nasty, noisy sludge is about as arousing as battlefield amputations.” Mouthful of noise.
“It is easy to underestimate Denmark’s contribution to death metal, especially in the face of America and Sweden. But from early days of infancy, through trembling years of youth, long murky middle-age and final hours long in the tooth. Denmark is the hundred names of terror, creature you love the least. Now picture its name before you and exorcise the BAEST.” Get in its belly!
“I may be a big ol’ dork for it, but I fucking love karaoke. The local rock bar has organized a few Heavy Karaoke nights, where the list includes the likes of Amon Amarth and Bloodbath alongside the usual Bonnie Tyler and Aerosmith. There’s something about getting on a tiny stage and growling your best rendition of ‘Twilight of the Thunder God’ in front of an audience too drunk to care about the quality of your voice, and loudly applauding a shy and visibly shaken girl for a surprisingly good Nightwish performance is downright wholesome. That does not, however, mean I want to be reminded of karaoke when I listen to an album.” Destiny derailed.
“I won’t go so far as to say album promo sheets are useless, but only because they’re often an indicator of how badly a band (or their PR people) misjudge their own sound. We’ve all had the never-been-heard-before braggadocio of a Bathory/Venom mash-up, the new heights promises of the perennial 2.5 bands, or that metalcore act that thinks they’re prog metal. Not one of us would bat an eye that Firespawn, the most meat and potatoes death metal act this side of modern Bloodbath, claim their third album Abominate ‘explores new ground that not many death metal bands have before.'” Lies, untruths and death metal.
“A spindly man enters the room and takes the chair in front of the casting agent. A gaudy yellow jumper is tied around his neck and he holds himself with an air of unearned confidence.” You won’t believe what happens next!
More lists for the list machine! The men who unwisely go by their real names, Mark Z. and L. Saunders boldly proclaim their best albums of 2018.
“We all know AMG‘s policy on supergroups, but if ever there was an act that continues to entice, it has to be the Swedish Modern Prometheus, Bloodbath, a band responsible for creating two of my very favorite death metal albums and reliably catering to all my HM2 needs. Our very own Steel Commander saw fit to furnish their previous release with a favorable review, and while I didn’t enjoy it quite as much, I can’t say they have ever truly disappointed me. Four years drinking deeply of the grave has re-energized the quintet to return and beguile those of a buzzsaw bent with another foray into the old-school.” Bloody arrows of death.
“On Thursday the 9th of August, myself and 19,000 others descended upon the grounds of an old manor house in the heart of the British countryside for a weekend of heavy metal, drinking, and debauchery.” AMG was there. Were you?
“Anyone who’s seen The Wire knows Baltimore can be a rough place, but on Memorial Day weekend every year, things get especially brutal. Hundreds of rabid metal fans from all over the world descend on ‘Charm City’ to participate in Maryland Deathfest, and the result is four days of moshing, headbanging, and partying like it’s 1989.” Death to all.
