For those who have only listened to metal since 1995, or for those who never thought Queensrÿche worthy of checking out, Operation: mindcrime is a concept album which tells the story of a drug addict who becomes an assassin for a political extremist group, but has a change of heart when he falls in love with a former prostitute who has become a nun.” That’s fookin metal, and olde.
“No, it’s not Orden Ogan’s Gunmen: Part Two, but we’ve got another European power metal band going full-bore American west on us. This time around, it’s a lesser-known Italian power metal act by the name of Spellblast, which is well known to me for its release of a pair of strong, if rather unkempt, albums in 2007’s Horns of Silence and 2010’s Battlecry. In 2014, the band executed a crowdfunding campaign (which I contributed to) for its third studio album entitled Nineteen, which was based on Stephen King’s Dark Tower saga. Unfortunately, despite having the band’s best vocal performance, Nineteen suffered from some serious redundancy and creative regression, caused in part by lineup changes and a new preoccupation with “western themes,” which were much less apparent then than now. No longer presenting a fantastical front, Of Gold and Guns is simply an homage to the characters of the American old west.” Spent bullets and dead horses.
“Hey, you! Yeah, that’s right, I know you and your ilk, only scurrying out of your hatch for a new record if the music is heavier than a dying panda reading Sartre and the album is only available in limited release as sheet music stapled to the bathroom door in an abandoned hospital. Well, you better slink back to your cobweb-ridden hovel as Life-Related Symptoms by Anewrage is none of those things.” Time to appreciate the gentler things in life.
“Last time around, Steel Druhm summed up both Emerald’s Unleashed and career with one line: “You’ve heard it a zillion times before from far superior bands.” Reckoning Day makes strides towards memorability, but old habits die hard….” Precious.
“Having read plenty of trash masquerading as philosophy and heard plenty of nonsensical music both within and without metal, I figured I was desensitized to weird stuff. Hell, the world seems almost desensitized to weirdness; Jacques Lacan, one of the biggest dolts to ever pretend to think about stuff and write it down, posited that an erection was equal to the square root of -1 and more than zero people took him seriously.” Weird is full of surprises.
“Ten years ago, The Answer released their fuzzified, blues-rock debut Rise. This Northern Irish four-piece rocked. The classic-rock influence was clear for all to hear yet there was enough raw energy for them to stand out; their sound having a vibrant vigor that did not seem forced. Fast forward ten years and five albums and The Answer have released their seventh full-length, Solas. This time the band have honed in on their Gaelic heritage, expressing a more subtle, more folk-inspired side to their sound.” Your mom thinks this is boss.
“I’m not going to lie, I have the biggest fucking headache right now. And who is to blame for this ailment? Bon-fucking-Jovi. Why in hell would I be listening to Bon Jovi, you might be asking? Because Jaded Heart’s back-catalog resurfaced my hard-helmet, classic-rock listening, construction-work nightmares. Yep, you read right. I said Jaded Heart. Why would I dare review such a thing, you may also be asking? Well, curiosity killed the cat.” Paul Baloff actually killed that cat because it was a poser!
“You know how Kurt Cobain killed Hair Metal? Apparently he didn’t manage to finish the job. It’s taken a couple of decades, but the recent surge of sleaze shows that the blow delivered by Kurt’s Fender Jaguar wasn’t, in fact, fatal.” If Cobain couldn’t kill sleazy cock rock, no one can!
Metal has been doing some collective soul searching for a while. The retro-thrash and retro-death movements – along with the ever-growing vest metal movement – have been built on a longing back to the simple, the original, the true. In this push, a lot of bands have been making the claim to the true metal legacy and Kobra and the Lotus are no exception.
