Carpenter Brut

Kambrium – Synthetic ERA Review

Kambrium – Synthetic ERA Review

“Few discussions in metal are as pointless as genre disagreements, and when such bouts of useless verbal sparring occur between enthusiastic Dunning-Kruger subscribers, you can expect some real dumb shit. As it did when I got in a disagreement with some friends, back when I knew a whole 3 metal bands and had barely bought my first fake leather spiked wristband. You see, I had just learned the term ‘melodic death metal’ and was vaguely aware of what power metal was, and as such, I laughed at friends telling me Children of Bodom were ‘power metal with harsh vocals,’ as the eternally-wise Encyclopedia Metallum claimed at the time. I wonder what any of us would have made of Kambrium, a band that treads the line between melodeath and power metal with meticulous precision.” Futurunreal.

Turmion Kätilöt – Global Warning Review

Turmion Kätilöt – Global Warning Review

“WOW that’s a uniquely tasteless sort of cover, isn’t it? It’s as if industrial Finns Turmion Kätilöt felt the need to be seen after getting signed by Nuclear Blast, and figured that bad publicity is good publicity. Well, the cover stands out alright, just in the worst way. Let’s hope the music is better.” Naked launch.

Roadburn 2017 Live Review

Roadburn 2017 Live Review

“Every year, something special takes place in my hometown of Tilburg, The Netherlands: the festival of Roadburn. Roadburn isn’t like your average festival. There’s no marquees, no fields of green devolving into mud, and no crowds the size of small towns worshiping the biggest bands. Instead, thousands of people dressed in black gather from every corner of the continent, and some from other continents, to see over 100 doom, stoner and other kinds of acts whose success lies almost entirely in the underground.” Welcome to the dope show.