“California’s Anisoptera have a lot going for them. Or, rather, as of the likely publish date of this review, they had one thing: an opening slot for Exist, Inferi, Beyond Creation, Archspire, and Obscura when the tech-death mega tour blasted its way through Oakland. Jørn knows that’s a lot of pressure, and to make matters worse, the band released their debut, Spawn of Odonata at that very show.” Spawn begone.
“On Thursday the 9th of August, myself and 19,000 others descended upon the grounds of an old manor house in the heart of the British countryside for a weekend of heavy metal, drinking, and debauchery.” AMG was there. Were you?
“Ferrous and I, drunk or otherwise, recently groused about who to blame for death metal’s modern sound. Much like my lumping of base-camp thrash into two molds, modern rip-offs and retro rip-offs, I think death metal organizes along similar lines. OSDM has its own originality problems, but it clearly surpasses the hyper-modern tripe so often homogenized that telling bands apart is like asking infant quintuplets which one shit their diaper.” Let’s blamestorm!
“Cave Bastard are this week’s victor of the trusted ‘choosing a band to review on the basis of cool name’ game which characterizes so much of my work here. Such name amused me.” Amuse then abuse – that is the way of Cave Bastards.
“It’s been a strange couple months for grumpy ole Grier. I’ve reviewed everything from cowpunk to Swedish black metal to non-metal/metal avant-garde to captivating power/melodeath. But, for all the ups-and-downs that come with this crazy rollercoaster ride, never am I more brain-fucked as when a new Igorrr record arrives in my inbox.” Putting the fist in fistula.
“Sentient Ignition burst onto the death metal circuit one year ago, dropping a two-track demo that caught the ears of everyone from MetalSucks to Toilet Ov Hell. Mixing melody, technical skill, and progressive intent, the demo delivered a product equal parts surprise and success. Enthroned in Gray is now tasked with living up to expectations set dangerously high for a band whose career spans 15 minutes and 52 seconds.” The confidence of youth and the wankiness of tech-death.
“My friends ask me what happened, but my ability to verbally communicate has been reduced to moaning and a weeping noise that sounds something like a baby panda crying for milk. I wonder how I’m going to make it through the final day of this floating festival. I wonder when the aching will subside. I wonder where my life went so wrong. How did I end up here, on the 7th annual 70000 Tons of Metal cruise, weak with exhaustion and feeling like my body has been bludgeoned with a sledgehammer? My mind drifts back…” Tales from a 70000 ton heavy thing.
“After scaling back the blackened and melodic tendencies that marked their 2000 self-titled debut, French loonies Benighted rapidly morphed into the finely-tuned deathgrind butchering machine they are today, releasing a consistent string of high-quality albums drenched in blood-spattered brutality, while keeping the fun and creepy factors cranked. Their sound may be set in stone, but the beauty of Benighted is the distinctive quirks and curve balls they splice into their brutal and musically dynamic brand of pig-squealing lunacy.” Hurls before swine.
“The Halloween period is here. Carve your pumpkins, bob your apples, egg your neighbors’ houses and listen to some horror-themed brutality. Hailing from Jobbstown, New Jersey, Cognitive play tech-death straight from the grave.” Boo-urns!
“If there are any bands out there that I can safely claim to have a major allegiance to, it would certainly be England’s Anaal Nathrakh. Maybe it’s because their magic blend of black metal, industrialized noise, grindcore, and even some power metal elements strike a nerve like few other bands do. Or perhaps it’s because, whenever you hear people talk ill about really any type of metal (kill your mother, rape your dog, etc.), chances are the music that Anaal Nathrakh spawns are the exact sounds these people actively imagine in their heads.” Lock up your mothers, lock up your dogs.
