Cerebral Bore

Ascend the Hollow – Echoes of Existence Review

Ascend the Hollow – Echoes of Existence Review

“I am ashamed. Why? Because I almost let this badass record slip through my greedy clutches. You see, my good friend (who we know as Septic ’round these parts) randomly pops in now and again to apprise me on some of his choice metallic discoveries. He introduced Irish/German/Dutch quartet Ascend the Hollow to me and I was instantly hooked. Like, so fast my head spun. I needed to share my excitement for Echoes of Existence with as many people as possible, but how? It would’ve been grand if we received promo, I thought. Then, all of a sudden I received a virtual sucker punch while rooting around the bin—the thing’s been sitting there since the end of April! How in the actual heck did I miss that??? And lo I experienced great embarrassment. I nearly neglected one of the coolest new bands to materialize out of absolute nowhere this year.” Finder of nearly lost things.

Vulvodynia – Psychosadistic Design Review

Vulvodynia – Psychosadistic Design Review

“Back in high school, metal fans, me ashamedly included, compared our chosen genre to classical in its proficiency and complexity, and laughed at the other “dumb” genres for their lack of “intelligent” lyrics and themes. What intolerable pricks were we. I can confidently say that, had I been in that woefully immature mindset currently, I would not have enjoyed anything about Vulvodynia. Their second full-length Psychosadistic Design is everything the intelligent pretentious types love to hate: it’s loud, it’s obnoxious, it’s hilariously over-the-top in its lyrical effrontery, and it chugs more than someone getting perpetually annihilated at beer pong. And honestly, I haven’t had this much fun with slamming brutal death metal in years.” Slam the torpedoes, full chug ahead!