Children of Bodom

Regardless of Me – Black Flowers Blossom Review

Regardless of Me – Black Flowers Blossom Review

“Six years into this gig, and I still largely choose albums from the promo pool by name and/or genre tag. While I like to review a diverse array of sub-genres, it’s tough for me to not pick the low hanging fruit of obscure tags. The prospect of “trance metal” was an enticing one indeed, and it was from this that I selected Italy’s Regardless of Me.” No regard.

Angry Metal-Fi: The Best and Worst Sounding Albums of 2019

Angry Metal-Fi: The Best and Worst Sounding Albums of 2019

“Metal-Fi? One has got to wonder if the serious lack of updates on the site is because of these issues or are they in fact the root cause? I honestly don’t know. Certainly, neither Dave nor I could have possibly foreseen that our unannounced hiatus last year would kick off Ragnarök. But unfortunately, that’s what all of the facts seem to indicate. Our bad.” Deaf and taxes.

Dawn of Disease – Procession of Ghosts [Things You Might Have Missed 2019]

Dawn of Disease – Procession of Ghosts [Things You Might Have Missed 2019]

“My first “real” metal band was Iron Maiden. The second was Children of Bodom, and through them, I found other melodic death metal bands like Norther and Kalmah. These last three bands were all listed on Metal Archives as “power metal with harsh vocals,” as a kind of elitist bid to disassociate melodic death metal that was too melodic from the “death” part of the label. While it was kind of a ridiculous strategy, it is true that there’s a major subsection of melodic death metal that has little in common with death metal aside from growls or screams.” Death’s revenge.

Crepuscle – Heavenly Skies Review

Crepuscle – Heavenly Skies Review

“With scant few acts from the golden era of Finnish melodic death metal living up to their former glitter and gusto, the torch has been unwittingly passed across state lines. From Æther Realm to Aephanemer, the kids who grew up worshiping at the altars of Ensiferum, Children of Bodom, and scores of others are now handily matching the quality of their influences. California’s Crepuscle is no exception.” The American way.

Messora – The Door Review

Messora – The Door Review

“I don’t know what makes something “avant-garde.” I remember going to an avant-garde art museum in Santa Fe, NM, where there was a movie exhibit of a haircut. Literally, two men and one woman get an identical buzzed haircut in the shade of a gazebo in the mountains of China. There’s new age music plucking around back there, walls are lined with identical shots of their new haircuts, and shadow boxes of locks of hair covered the floor. It was weird and challenging and difficult to understand, but I think about it a lot. So, if that’s what’s avant-garde, Messora ain’t it.” Hammer, don’t hurt ’em.

Children of Bodom – Hexed Review

Children of Bodom – Hexed Review

“I’m a little more broken, a lot less trusting, and a touch more cynical than before. Such is life. So, it’s only fitting my return would be alongside Finland’s Children of Bodom; a band that’s been giving the finger for years. Comebacks are never perfect and never as hyped as we all want them to be but, in an imperfect way, CoB and Doc are back. Yup, fuck you, world.” Hexed and vexed.

Rifftera – Across the Acheron Review

Rifftera – Across the Acheron Review

“From a metal perspective, 2019 has been decidedly underwhelming so far. When the promo bin threw me a melo-death album by a band whose name sounds like an adolescent parody of iconic metal giants, I had little hope that things would improve. This sophomore effort by Finnish band Rifftera follows 2015’s Pitch Black; a self-produced smorgasbord of melodic death metal, thrash, power and prog, smashed together with the grace of a junkyard compactor, and then played with the dial at 11. It was fun, but it was a mess.” Have these Finnish melodeath-thrashers gotten their shit together?

Parasite Inc. – Dead and Alive Review

Parasite Inc. – Dead and Alive Review

“Bands like Hypocrisy and Dark Tranquillity were like gateway drugs for me. I remember getting heavy into the style about a decade ago and then it seemed to run its course. And, as most of my favorite bands carry on with run-of-the-mill material, while others—like Soilwork, Arch Enemy, and In Flames—continue to bore me to fucking death, it’s become even more clear that I’ve fallen away from the genre. So, in hopes of rekindling some of those flames, I grabbed Parasite Inc.‘s Dead and Alive. What the hell was I thinking?” The Doc has worms.

Corrective Measures: Angry Metal Guy’s Stack o’ Shame Edition

Corrective Measures: Angry Metal Guy’s Stack o’ Shame Edition

“Like with video games or books, one’s “Stack o’ Shame” is the stuff one intends to do but has not been able to do for one reason or another. These reviews are all too late to write full 600-800 word reviews for. On the other hand, I am going to be way too busy this winter to be able to handle writing a bunch of TYMHM. So, I am invoking my right to rule through this (hopefully one-off) post that rounds up some stuff that I fully intended to review and didn’t. So by ways of an apology to both you, the readers, and the albums in my Stack o’ Shame, I bring you some angry, metal blurbs. Mea culpa.” Sometimes sorry is enough.