Cirith Ungol

Visigoth – Conqueror’s Oath Review

Visigoth – Conqueror’s Oath Review

“Hammers, axes and swords glint in the flickering torchlight as the tumultuous cacophony of an army on the march fills the night air. Women weep, clutching their children as they flee to forests deep, praying to the heavens for mercy. On this glorious night Visigoth has returned to reclaim the Immortal Throne, and the blood of the untrve will soon stain rock, stone and leaf. We’ve awaited this uprising since 2015 when their righteous debut scorched the land and revitalized the trve heavy metal genre, and 2018 finally sees the second crusade underway with Conqueror’s Oath.” Nuts and Hun-y.

Professor Emeritus – Take Me to the Gallows Review

Professor Emeritus – Take Me to the Gallows Review

“Yes, I know what you are thinking, and no, this is NOT a Ghost spin-off act. Professor Emeritus is no one’s Papa I, II or III, and rather than getting their hands dirty with unwashed ghoul masks and slightly metallized Blue Oyster Cult ditties, these Chicago road scholars chose to major in epic trve metal at the olden learning institution, while also carrying a minor in doom.” The ivory tower is metal.

Stallion – From the Dead Review

Stallion – From the Dead Review

“This is a late review, but that’s what happens when you live in Canada and get eight days of summer per year: you spend all your time frolicking amongst the dandelions instead of in a darkened room blaring metal. Anyhow, this new release from Stallion grabbed my attention for only one reason: in 2013 they had a song called “Canadian Steele.”” Of Northern pride and metallurgy.

Lunar Shadow – Far From Light Review

Lunar Shadow – Far From Light Review

“Nostalgia is a part of life, as inescapable as death, taxes and back hair. In moderation it’s a wistful and harmless reminder of happy times and precious moments. Taken to extremes however, it becomes ABBA-centric musicals and ironical Hipster Hell (i.e. Williamsburg, Brooklyn). The biggest problem with throwback/retro nostalgia-core is the fact it must forever look backward at what’s already been done, rarely managing to inject modern ideas or sensibilities into the mix. Flying in the face of this truism, Lunar Shadow boldly strides out of Germany with a new take on living in the past.” A retro twofer? Everyone loves a bargain.

Eternal Champion – The Armor of Ire [Things You Might Have Missed 2016]

Eternal Champion – The Armor of Ire [Things You Might Have Missed 2016]

“How did I miss an album with that cover, you ask? We didn’t get the damn promo, that’s how. If we did, I’d have seen the title (the same as a much beloved Sega Genesis brawler from my youth), taken notice of the art and the rest would be history. Now that I’m way late to the raiding party, I’m finding this thing the near-perfect companion piece to the awesome Sumerlands debut of earlier this year.” Obtain the Sword of Groupon and come with us!

Quicksand Dream – Beheading Tyrants Review

Quicksand Dream – Beheading Tyrants Review

“When a band is so damn trve they make their fans wait 16 years for a follow up album, you know you’re dealing with some real hard asses. Quicksand Dream is their name, and the waiting game is their…game. They burst on the epic metal scene way back in 2000 with their disastrously titled Aelin – A Story About Destiny debut, and though that name was like a poke in the eye, there was no denying the righteous Cirith Ungol and Brocas Helm worshiping within. It was a sound so completely lost up the ass of metal history that it became the very embodiment of “cult” and doomed the band to self inflicted obscurity.” Those that don’t know, don’t know.

Savage Master – With Whips and Chains Review

Savage Master – With Whips and Chains Review

“As soon as I heard note one of this thing I knew I was in for it. I’d end up falling in my 80s nostalgia hole preaching to the very small choir of 45-plus geezers who grew up on this kind of raw, simplistic proto-metal. Praising this would inevitably lead to abuse from my youthful AMG peers and readers while further cementing my rep as a metallic fossil, but what can a middle-aged Steel Druhm do?” My name is Steel and I have a metal problem.

Ravensire – The Cycle Never Ends Review

Ravensire – The Cycle Never Ends Review

“One look at that cover and you knew I’d be the chosen one to review it, didn’t you? And rightly so, as Ravensire has an imposing Throne of Usurpation built directly on the epicenter of my metallic wheelhouse. They rock a burly form of trve metal similar to Visigoth and Ironsword, and since that means Conan-core, you can expect much Cirith Ungol worshiping, Manowar loin clothing and Manilla Road raging.” If you’re bored, reforge the sword!

Ironsword – None But the Brave Review

Ironsword – None But the Brave Review

“It’s hard to remain trve in such false times. Wear a broadsword into the local supermarket and you’ll get many a suspicious glance. Build an enormous stone monument to Ye Old Gods on your front lawn and you’ll invariably run into trouble with the town Zoning Board. Sacking weaker neighbors and carrying off their daughters? Forget all about it. Such are the cursed times we live in. But when the going gets tough, the trve get going, and that’s why Ironsword is so damn important.” It’s time to hold those war hammers high. Higher! HIGHER!