“Today, dear reader, I take over review duties for the tech death band Allegaeon from all around swell guy GardensTale. You see, Mr. Tale has twice reviewed these Coloradans, once for 2016’s Proponent of Sentience, and again for 2019’s Apoptosis, awarding both middling to poor scores. Apparently, this upset the powerful Allegaeon lobbyists in metal congress, because those comment sections got savage. GardensTale, this site, his mom, other writers, OUR moms; no one was safe from the blistering ire of the Allegaeonites.” A letter to Damnum.
