“Colosso occupy a strange perch in the metal world. While they’re obviously huge Meshuggah fans, their groovy, mid-paced metal is a far cry from the tech-prog peddled by djent bands. Yet the group’s history fits the bill quite well, beginning as a one-man band before gradually accruing members to flesh out their current sound.” More members do not a success make.
“I recently heard from a coworker that lobster meat only has to contain about 2% actual lobster to be labeled as such. Often when you’re biting into a cheap lobster roll, you’re actually eating monkfish – a bottom dwelling creature that looks like a cross between a dog turd and a deep sea anglerfish that got run over by a dump truck. Why bring this up? Well, if Polish grindcore quartet F.A.M. are any indication, mediocre deathgrind albums work the same way.” Contents guaranteed to be fresh.
“Listening to Oniric Delusions this past week got me thinking about vanilla ice cream. It’s a dessert that’s not so much widely loved as universally accepted as a reliable standby to other, more complex dishes. Proper application of toppings however can transform this most mundane of treats into something special and unique. When I learned that Banisher hails from Poland and markets themselves as extreme death metal, I couldn’t help but raise my expectations at least a little.” Poland is for death lovers.
“Dawn of Demise, the irrepressible death dealers of Danish chunk, return after a quiet few years with their fourth LP of groove-driven brutality, entitled The Suffering. The boys have obviously been feeding on extra chunky hunks of beef and holding the potatoes, as The Suffering offers up another carnivorous serving of muscular, protein-fueled death in the tradition of the band’s solid previous work, including A Force Unstoppable and Rejoice in Vengeance. If Neanderthal’s had access to audio technology and the wonders of metal, Dawn of Demise would be at the top of their playlist.” Let’s go clubbin’.
“The life of a metal drummer is one of near saintly asceticism. Your kit is about ten times heavier – and more expensive – than the six-strings that your guitarists snapped up off of craigslist. It breaks constantly and takes about half an hour to set up on stage, and while you’re busting your ass carting it around the rest of the band just loafs about because they’re too stupid to help set it up properly. And when you finally get to play it, nobody can see the intricacies of your cymbal work or the incredible sweatiness of your torso because a bunch of Rapunzely assholes are standing in front of you on stage. It would be a thankless task were it not for the dedicated few fans that really appreciate your craft. Kronos is such a fan.” The man loves a good beating.
“The endless darkness, desolation, intriguing mystery and suffocating atmosphere of space pairs well with metal. Science fiction themes, dystopian futures and extra terrestrial shenanigans are all familiar sources of inspiration in the metal scene, however Colorado up and comers Blood Incantation do a particularly excellent job of nailing down the dense reality, claustrophobic atmosphere and otherworldly vibe of our mysterious universe on their hugely impressive full-length debut, Starspawn.” Space in your face.
“Mindscar gets weirder the more you learn about them.” With an endorsement like that, how can you not click through?
“When first listening to Terminus by While Sun Ends I was on the train. In lieu of much exciting to say about the record itself, I will begin with this. It was on a Euro-trip where I visited a number of central European cities. I had the pleasure of making the journey between Munich (Germany) and Salzburg (Austria), a route which takes you through the beautiful Bavarian Alps. These travel days were substantially stop-gaps but this ride was a highlight of my trip, as we sped through a plethora of emerald hills, past azure lakes, observed grand mountains and stopped at quaint villages with lots of men whose names I presume to be Klaus. All of them. I paint this picture as that part of the world is extraordinary. The same cannot be said for Terminus. It is, indeed, extra-ordinary.” The home of trains is plain.
“The always well-attended Summer Slaughter tour came to Chicago one cloudy Wednesday night, with a packed lineup of death metal giants. Nile, Suffocation, Revocation, and headliners Cannibal Corpse played to a packed and pickled pit until the wee hours of the morning, and few prevailed without injury. Truly, it was a night to be remembered. At least, I assume that happened. I elected to skip the megatour (and probably the best pit Chicago will see all year) and head just a few miles further up Milwaukee avenue to see the most Kronos-approved bill that will ever come to be; the tour to end all tours. Plebeain Grandstand. Pyrrhon. The trvest of the trve had gathered.” The night Chicago was trve.
“I’m a rare steak man. It doesn’t have to bleed to be palatable, but it probably wouldn’t hurt. After tossing a couple sirloins on the grill for dinner, my fiancée asked how I was liking X-Method. A blood-tinged fugue immediately compelled me to follow her back into the house so that someone, anyone, would listen to the ensuing oral diarrhea. Fifteen minutes later, my untended steaks were completely overcooked. X-Method ruined my dinner and my stomach demands recompense.” That steak is now like Thor’s hammer – runed!
