“Though I have no musical ability, back in high school I used to love plucking random strings on my friend’s Stratocaster knockoff and imagining I was composing an avant-garde interlude for some progressive screamo album.” You know, with an intro like that, I’m pretty sure you’ll end up not trusting this guy’s judgement anyway…
“I have to admit that I picked up Frostbite’s Etching Obscurity for the cheesy band name and the “progressive black metal” tagline. Expecting a pretentious ambient/avant garde black metal album to laugh circles around, I instead found Etching Obscurity well worth my time.” And you know a doctor’s time is very valuable.
“I’m not the staff member you’d expect to write a retrospective on Symbolic, or any other Death release for that matter. When Chuck Schuldinger died and took the golden age of death metal with him, I was six years old and had no concept of what a riff was, could never experience the bizarre fun-house mirror that was ’90s metal as it happened.” Timeless albums care not about age.
“Competition arises in the strangest places, and one of them is at the buffet. In eternal struggle of trying to cost the restaurant more than the ludicrous bill you’ll receive, there are three main strategies you can employ. First, eat a reasonable amount of the most expensive stuff. Second, sample a pinch of a large variety of foodstuffs and hope the numbers work out. Third is the dining equivalent of scorched earth policy, characterized by indiscriminate gluttony and staunch looks of disapproval from the wait staff and eventually your family or friends with whom you came. This method ensures a win, but at what cost?” Unbuckle the belt and prepare for stuffing.
“Down Among The Dead Men vocalist Dave Ingram has the death metal pedigree of a standard poodle with the roar of a rabid pit bull, widely known for his work with Benediction and a brief yet destructive stint in Bolt Thrower for 2002’s excellent Honour – Valour – Pride. Take one rabid poodle and add some Rogga.
“Sadist have been under the weather for quite some time. Once a respectable prog-death act, they did that thing that metal bands did in the ’90s a tad late and released the awful nu-metal Lego in 2000 to critical and fan disgust, after which they took a seven-year break.” Can these grizzled vets redeem themselves after the horrors of the past?
“Horrendous caught many off guard when they dropped last year’s sublime sophomore opus, Ecdysis. The album blew away my modest expectations and cemented Horrendous as far more than your typical old school retro death act they appeared to be on their solid debut. Putting an innovative spin on their old school formula and heaving a weighty sack of delicious riffs, Horrendous took some gravity defying leaps forward to complete one of the more astonishing evolutionary strides I’ve had the pleasure of hearing in recent years.” Adapt or die. That is the credo.
“There’s precious little information to be found about Twin Lords anywhere, and Shift is the New York duo’s debut album after a 2012 demo. Furthermore, the music itself offers no easy points of comparison. I’ve seen them tagged as everything from “progressive” to “sludge” to “powerviolence,” and having listened to the album myself numerous times, I’m still not sure what I’d classify Twin Lords as.” How can we do our job if we can’t pigeonhole into neat little boxes?
“The biggest problem with grabbing a thrash promo from a band that references Forbidden, Annihilator and Testament, is that I have no choice but to spend hours listening to some of the greatest metal albums to date. Not that I’m complaining but it is difficult to shut off Annihilator’s Alice in Hell once it gets started.” Thrash is back…for the attack.
“For the past two years, my “Album of the Year” honor has gone to albums that clawed at the seams of extreme metal; while imperfect, they represented a rare glimpse at the technicolor darkness trapped perpetually beyond the horizon of the genre. It’s too early to call 2015, which I must say has piddled forth only a dilute stream of quality metal; but I can say without doubt that this album is a contender.” Color Kronos impressed…and burnt sienna.
