“What do you get when you take equal parts O(ld)peth, Rush and Devin Townsend, chuck it all in a cosmic blender and turn it on? The correct reply is ‘a throbbing erection,’ but second place goes to upstarts The Thirteenth Sun, set to release their debut full-length 5 years in the making.” Take a cold shower, you perv.
“While I’m quite comfortable in the realm of technical death metal, the whole European tech-metal/djent boom around 2010 never really made sense to me. Where did all of these bands come from, and why did so many sound like even shittier versions of Periphery? Regardless of the source, I can intuit from the number of stupidly named festivals that the continental metalheads keep holding that tech metal — without the death — is pretty popular somewhere.” The claws are out.
“Music, like any craft, is different for those who practice and create it and those who only consume it. The learned are better able to distinguish between what is crafty and what is easy, gaining a perspective that appreciates elegant complexity more than a casual listener would. I am not a musician, nor a professional critic, but I like to think (or delude myself) that I have gathered enough listening and analyzing experience to at least meet the pros halfway.” Go the extra mile to the halfway point.
“Treacly melodies, sub-dermal hooks and pop-infused synths, Ember Falls are gunning for stardom by way of your mental taste buds with their debut, Welcome to Ember Falls. Fame is an elusive, fickle beast and Ember Falls is but another band hoping to stand out amongst a deluge of delicacies jostling to whet our collective appetite. It remains to be seen whether Welcome to Ember Falls sluices down an eager gullet, hitting the bliss point like an Olympic sharpshooter or is instead a bitter pill to swallow.” Take your black medicine!
![Astronoid – Air [Things You Might Have Missed 2016]](https://www.angrymetalguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Astronoid-Air-768x768.jpg)
“Fearless. That’s the word I keep coming back to when trying to describe this Boston quintet’s debut. Sure, there may be better ways to describe the music – carefree, blissful, soaring – but nothing captures the spirit of Air quite like “fearless.”” Fear is the mind killer.
“By the time you read this, Halloween 2016 is long gone. Oral surgeons have deposited their paychecks earned at the expense of children unfortunate enough to chomp down on razor blades, and your cranky olde neighbor is probably marching across the street right now to ask when the hell you’re getting that damned rotting jack o’ lantern off your porch. As I’m writing, however, the night of Halloween is still young, and I have an appropriately eerie soundtrack to accompany the festivities.” The pumpkin stays right where it’s at, bub.
“I was going to begin this review by referring to Madder Mortem as one of Norway’s best kept secrets, but I had no idea if that were true. It’s hard to judge how well-known a metal band is outside of one’s own group of heavy metal compadres, which is probably why I’m so often surprised by the billing of certain acts at certain German festivals (Feuerschwanz, anyone?).” Now featuring a popularity contest!
“Despite picking up plenty of positive press for their debut Produces Reason a couple of years ago (including a glowing review from yours truly), Sleep of Monsters don’t seem to have penetrated far into the metal public’s collective consciousness. Comprising former members of underrated Finnish goth rockers Babylon Whores, overrated Finnish goth rockers HIM, and a host of other decorated musicians, Sleep of Monsters go beyond the narrow confines inhabited by the aforementioned acts, incorporating all manner of different musical ideas into their remarkably coherent overall sound.” Don’t sleep on these monsters.
“Sometimes I’ll pick a band from the promo list just because they have an interesting name. So it was with Pyramids on Mars, who I dearly hoped were a bunch of Richard C. Hoagland inspired conspiracists writing metal for martians.” Here at AMG we’ve brought you the scoop on goblin metal and troll metal. Why not add martian metal to the list.
“Soen’s Cognitive, which was released in 2012, was the band’s debut and it bore a striking resemblance to the work of Tool and, to be fair, A Perfect Circle. Despite this undeniable likeness, the record was chock full of fat grooves, great writing, beautiful vocal performances from vocalist Eklöf and amazing performances from all the musicians—but especially metal’s best bassist (Steve Digiorgio if there’s any doubt) and one of metal’s best drummers (Martin Lopez). I’ve often felt a bit guilty for labeling Cognitive as too derivative, because despite the sound it has been a regular on my playlist since then—and I would hate to be responsible for pigeonholing a band before they had time to develop; great debuts are few and far between.” But the operative question is: can Soen step through Tool’s shadow and come out the other side?
