Elder

Elder – Omens Review

Elder – Omens Review

“It didn’t become apparent how little I like Omens until I revisited Elder‘s back catalog. Running through the halls of their ethereal proghalla didn’t just make clear that, next to the sum of Elder‘s previous achievements, Omens isn’t great; it cemented that Omens isn’t good.” Disrespecting the Elder.

Blessed Black – Beyond the Crimson Throne Review and Album Premiere

Blessed Black – Beyond the Crimson Throne Review and Album Premiere

“Album premieres are a gimmick. At least that’s what I thought until I had the chance to showcase this lovely example of epic/doom/stoner metal courtesy of up-and-coming Cincinnati rockers Blessed Black. Of course, to review an album is one thing, but to premiere that album, it better be worth clicking on more songs than just the single, and that’s certainly the case here.” Blessed luck.

Pale Grey Lore – Eschatology Review

Pale Grey Lore – Eschatology Review

“Is there such a thing as a universal archetype of a genre? A band that perfectly embodies everything you expect from, say, melodic death metal or power metal, and nothing else? After all, many bands mix in at least some influence from other genres in an attempt to keep things fresh and not everyone has the exact same view of what such a default state should look like. Stoner metal, on the other hand, often seems bent on conforming to a template, perhaps more so than any other of metal’s subgenres. All you need is a bunch of catchy, straightforward riffs, generally played at mid-pace, with a good measure of fuzz and with a dusting of psychedelic interludes and solos, and clean, ’70s style vocals on top, and you got yourself a stoner metal album.” Desert rock for dessert.

Elder – The Gold & Silver Sessions EP

Elder – The Gold & Silver Sessions EP

“But the New England outfit aren’t just the next indie darling, were never just metal for metal’s sake. Their proggy tendencies always lurked beneath the surface to some degree; Reflections was simply the unveiling. With a new LP on the horizon, The Gold & Silver Sessions takes Elder in a direction I didn’t expect, but perhaps should have. This isn’t just prog; it’s out-and-out jam.” Peanut butter and jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam.

Sinmara – Hvísl Stjarnanna Review

Sinmara – Hvísl Stjarnanna Review

“‘Too dense, too impenetrable, too fucking spooky,’ a n00b once regarded black metal. That poser embarrassed himself as glorious Icelandic output like Misþyrming sailed right over his head; now he’s putting poor other n00bs on blast over it. That is to say—in the most roundabout way possible—black metal good now. So, much to a lesser me’s surprise, I clamored after the ensuing jump-ball when Svartidauði guitarist Þórir Garðarsson resurfaced with Almyrkvi and Slidhr alums on Sinmara’s sophomore release. Cue the cliché about ‘being glad I did because Hvísl Stjarnanna is great,’ because I’m glad I did, and Hvísl Stjarnanna is great.” From the mouth of n00bs.

My Diligence – Sun Rose Review

My Diligence – Sun Rose Review

“One of these days, I’m going to have to visit Belgium. You see, not only did this fine little country spawn my favorite album last year, but it is spitting out a couple more interesting bands in 2019, starting with the horribly-named My Diligence. Honestly: I don’t mean to start a review on such a negative note, especially when the music far surpasses the name, but it’s just not a great moniker. That aside, what My Diligence bring to the table is an intriguing progressive stoner mix influenced by a few solid bands. Think of the harmonious stoner-pop sensibilities of Torche, the progressive leanings of Elder, and a dash of Queens of the Stone Age’s quirkiness, and you’ve got an idea of what this band’s second album, Sun Rose, is all about.” Stone the Sun.

Aver – Orbis Majora Review

Aver – Orbis Majora Review

“There’s something special in the water, air, or spider-venom in Australia. More and more, the Land Down Under is becoming a hotbed for top class progressive metal, and I’m getting to a point where I’ll blindly leap onto anything labeled Aussie prog, even if it has a cover as baffling as Aver’s Orbis Majora. Who thought ‘now all these naked space ladies need is having their arms melted together, getting them stuck to a giant bile-green orb, and replacing their heads with purple planets?'” Orbs of reckoning.

Sons of Lazareth – Blue Skies Back to Gray Review

Sons of Lazareth – Blue Skies Back to Gray Review

“I don’t do well in the heat. This n00b is a strictly cold-weather creature. Despite this, I do very much enjoy stoner-desert rock. I’ve done so ever since I first encountered Kyuss’ seminal Welcome to Sky Valley. So imagine my excitement when the promo bin – manifesting in the ominous shape of Steel Druhm – threw me Blue Skies Back to Gray, the debut album from Italian stoners Sons of Lazareth.” Left to die.

Old Man Lizard – True Misery Review

Old Man Lizard – True Misery Review

“If you’ve been following the Chronicles of N00b, you may remember that the last time I was let out of confinement, it was for a forced march through a symphonic winter wonderland. This, after specific requests to review my preferred genre of doom, nearly broke me (no doubt the point). But for my fifth review, I’ve been thrown a bone. Not only do England’s Old Man Lizard play doom, they play the stoner strain: ur-doom that can trace its origin to the moment Sir Lord Baltimore and Black Sabbath crawled out of the primordial ooze after the mantle cooled on Planet Caravan Metal.” Feel the scales.