“I’ve never had Larrys as friends. I have no idea if most of them are good, and the only bad ones are in this band. And although I know what hodads are, and I’m pretty damn old, I’ve never known any personally. So this album from The Bad Larrys, Hodads, is a whole lotta unknowns for me.” Don’t Larry profile!
“Long Distance Calling is the best instrumental metal band you’ve never heard of. Formed in 2006, this German quartet first came to my attention when I discovered 2007 debut Satellite Bay last year, an album that went perfectly with my lonely drives along the sparkling New England coastline.” Accept the charges.
“Hammers, axes and swords glint in the flickering torchlight as the tumultuous cacophony of an army on the march fills the night air. Women weep, clutching their children as they flee to forests deep, praying to the heavens for mercy. On this glorious night Visigoth has returned to reclaim the Immortal Throne, and the blood of the untrve will soon stain rock, stone and leaf. We’ve awaited this uprising since 2015 when their righteous debut scorched the land and revitalized the trve heavy metal genre, and 2018 finally sees the second crusade underway with Conqueror’s Oath.” Nuts and Hun-y.
“Death on Fire wants you to know that Witch Hunter isn’t your grandpa’s melodeath. If that Playboy-for-Pyramid-Head cover doesn’t convince you, one spin through its prickly hollow will. There will be none of that slickly-produced astronaut cheese metal you babies lap up so greedily, not today. The music of one-man band Tim Kenefic is ugly and coarse, like clawing at a scab that will never heal.” Pick your poison, pick your scabs.
“The New Wave of British Heavy Metal hasn’t been new in almost 40 years, but some of the bands birthed in that musical crucible are still soldiering on today. The chief influence for the classic mockumentary, This is Spinal Tap, Saxon, have been road warriors since the late 70s, rocking their traditional metal fare far and wide, though never coming close to the fame achieved by contemporaries like Iron Maiden and Def Leppard. If awards were given for stubbornness and dedication, Saxon would win in a clean sweep, and the fact we’re reviewing their 22nd album, Thunderbolt is further proof of their taciturn commitment to this whole “metal thing.”” Saxon-ma-phone!
