“Vanden Plas has been a very consistent act in the prog-power scene for over twenty years, releasing album after album of high quality music in the same vein as Anubis Gate, Threshold and early Dream Theater. They always offered plenty of shred, wank and noodle but took pains to keep the music accessible and memorable.” Ready for two albums of big time prog-power? Then ascend to the Netherworld!
“Yeah, yeah, I know what you’re thinking. Why is there a Stryper review in my news-feed? Well, it’s there because the infamous yellow and black bumblebees of Christian metal are back with a new album called Fallen, and since we covered W.A.S.P. in their post-Satan phase, it only makes sense we cover these saintly chaps in their Still-God phase (AMG would strongly disagree, but he’s traveling and doesn’t know about this yet).” The path of the righteous is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil metal reviewers.
“Geoff Tate cannot be stopped. Getting fired from Queensryche barely slowed him down, and a lengthy court battle over the band name just made him mad. Hell, we even begged him to show us mercy, but he denied us. Instead, Tate has delivered The Key, the debut outing by his creatively-named new project Operation: Mindcrime.” Someone, somewhere deserves this.
“Royal Hunt has been knocking around the prog-metal circuit forever, and though they’ve dropped a few killer releases, I’d describe their overall discography as a bit spotty. There are those classic albums where their melodic AOR/metal style really hit a sweet spot, and others were it feels like they’re stuck in a lower gear. Their golden age was in the mid 90s with vocalist extraordinaire, D.C. Cooper (Silent Force, Steel Seal) and most fans would likely point to 1997s Paradox as they crowning achievement.” The hunt resumes. Tally ho!
“It is written that man greatly displeased his finicky but beneficent Creator, and thus did God come to curse Mankind with various and sundry plagues of pestilence, locusts, skinny jeans and metal super groups. Over time some of these curses have proven more tolerable than others, but I’ll take a good locust swarm over the typical half-baked, so-called super group.” Super groups may annoy, but Cain is certainly able.
“Here we have another project band from Frontiers Records which appears to be trying to duplicate the success of the Russell Allen and Jorn Lande pairings. Like those albums, the music here is written by Magnus Karlsson, this time with the help of his Primal Fear band mate, Mat Sinner, and as usual, it walks the line between melodic power metal and radio-ready hard rock. Essentially, this is Allen/Lande with Michael Kiske and Amada Somerville standing in. How you feel about that will depend on the extent of your love for the former Helloween golden boy and the erstwhile queen of symphonic metal backing vocals (Avantasia, Aina, et al).” Do you need to take things down a notch and relax? This might help.
When word of this rock opera treatment of Dracula from none other than The Rock King and Trond Holter (current guitarist for Rock King’s solo albums) hit the streets, let’s just say there was a difference of opinion between AMG and myself as to the merits thereof. Never much of a Jornophile, AMG wanted no mention of it on his pristine webpage. But how can we ignore a Broadway-inspired concept album about that immortal Lord of Darkness, Dracula Von Impalerstein?” Are you ready for the Dracula Spectacula? Jorn is and he’s chewing on your scenery.
“You know how Kurt Cobain killed Hair Metal? Of course you know; we’ve been through this already. He didn’t. Yes folks, it’s time for your second dose of hair metal in under a month! You see, while AMG has been distracted dealing with Steel Druhm’s incessant efforts to inject more Jorn onto the site by any means necessary, I’ve launched my own elaborately coiffured campaign to restyle Angry Metal Guy into the far more fabulous Hair Metal Guy.” Jorn in the U.S.A.!
“A talented singer can become, in the hands of a skilled songsmith, a powerful tool for artistic expression. In such a craftsman’s nimble fingers, powerful vocals can be woven and molded to create a truly sublime listening experience. Likewise, in the hands of a rank amateur, those same vocal gifts can become nothing but a hammer, and every song the nail.” When you learn who is responsible for crafting songs for these metal legends, you may fear a hammering in your immediate future.
“Many guitarists have passed through the ranks of the Ozzy Osbourne band over the years, but only one has inspired whole generations of axemen. Only one is mentioned in the same breath as legends like Hendrix and Eddie Van Halen; only one has had first-born children named after him. That man, my friends, is Mr. Jake E. Lee.” Mr. Fisting dusts off his 80s man-crush on the legendary Mr. E. Lee and gives us the straight skinny on his new solo project. Hint Hint: The “E” stands for “ehhhh.”
