George Thorogood

Jordan Rudess – Wired for Madness Review

Jordan Rudess – Wired for Madness Review

“I sit undressed, tied up in a chair. My spirit is broken, my body defiled. I look up at him, pleading: “Please, Mr. Rudess. No more.” Jordan Rudess, famed keyboard player for Dream Theater and Liquid Tension Experiment, looks down on me and simply laughs. With his one hand, he’s playing a keyboard. With the other, he’s playing himself. I want to beg for mercy, but another glob of mammal sauce strikes my face. “Argh!” I cry. “Right in the eye!” Multiple bodily fluids seep from my eye. Tears are among them. “What do you want from me?!” I scream. Jordan Rudess laughs. “Tell me I’m the greatest keyboard player in the world, adores by fans across the globe!”” Into the wank tank.