“I’ve always found gothic metal to be, much like viking or pagan metal, a phrase that is more evocative of a specific feel rather than a genre with finite boundaries. It’s one of those styles that manages to fit a deceptively diverse array of bands under its umbrella; Type O Negative, Moonspell, and The Vision Bleak differ greatly from a purely mechanical standpoint, yet the thick, gloomy atmosphere is ever present.” Ready for a graveyard romance?
“It was with great reluctance that I took Dark Portrait’s A Harrowing Atrocity for review. It’s nothing against the band, but with the end of the year deadlines looming, TYMHM articles to write, and a top-ten list to hash out, there is little time for those unfortunate albums whose label thought it appropriate to release in the blackest month of the year.” From the promo dead pit comes…blackness.
“Though Dimmu Borgir and Cradle of Filth continue to deliver some decent material, I struggle to find that initial pleasure I once felt with releases like Enthrone Darkness Triumphant, Spiritual Black Dimensions, Dusk and Her Embrace, and Cruelty and the Beast. And, for the most part, I had a falling out with both bands. But, I recently discovered a musical venture of Dani Filth’s I had no idea existed—one that I am rather enjoying.” If you can’t have the King, at least you can wallow in Filth.
“By the time you read this, Halloween 2016 is long gone. Oral surgeons have deposited their paychecks earned at the expense of children unfortunate enough to chomp down on razor blades, and your cranky olde neighbor is probably marching across the street right now to ask when the hell you’re getting that damned rotting jack o’ lantern off your porch. As I’m writing, however, the night of Halloween is still young, and I have an appropriately eerie soundtrack to accompany the festivities.” The pumpkin stays right where it’s at, bub.
“Sirenia hasn’t been getting much love from AMG Industries of late, and perhaps rightly so. The bands 2015 release The Seventh Life Path was criticized harshly for both its cheesy, formulaic approach to symphonic metal and its abundance of beautiful women. The 2011 offering, The Enigma of Life, fared absolutely no better. While I will never be one to condemn the inclusion of sexy band photos (female or otherwise), I did find myself agreeing with the general sentiments; both albums were trite, shallow, and boring.” Sex sells, but who’s buying?
“Music is capable of many wondrous things. It can arouse the senses and instill emotion in even the most hardened of battle vesters. Its melodies can spark furious debate and vehement fervor in scenic sadboys and teeny boppers alike. Indeed, music is just about the only artistic medium that has ever successfully made me shed angry, metal man-tears.” It’s okay to cry. Now report to HR.
“When Steel Druhm pitched my weekly Hot Pocket and Fanta allotment down the Well of Rookie Souls, he shouted something about it being “ultra mega super cheesy.” I thought he meant my pepperoni-infused beauties, but it turns out he was talking about the cheese-nuke of an assignment he dropped on my work slab.” Loosen the jazz hands.
“The old adage “Never judge a book by its cover” holds firm here. Long story short, I picked Germany’s Ewigheim for review from our list of promos because a certain half-man, half-gorilla who shall forever remain nameless listed them as “black metal” due to the album cover, logo, and the fact that he glanced over the German one-sheet. Hankering for some kvlt blackness of the tr00est order, I grabbed their sixth full-length, Schlaflieder, and was met with… something totally not black metal.” Mistakes were made.
“This time I just wasn’t ready for the bi-annual dose of inner turmoil, depressive introspection and damaged psyches that come with every Evergrey album. Personal issues have conspired to keep me away from reviewing as much as I’d like and I’ll admit to feeling a bit beaten down of late. That’s either the worst time to spin an Evergrey release or the best, depending on the level of masochism present in your twisted black heart. I personally would have preferred a brainlessly bombastic dose of barbarian metal or some hideous cheesy power metal about unicorn husbandry, but Wotan had other plans.” Storming and nothingness.
“Lacrimas Profundere is an awkward moniker that’s tough to say and harder to spell, but they’ve been one of the most successful and consistent goth-metal acts over the last 20 years. I really enjoyed 2010s The Grandiose Nowhere and 2013s Antiadore and they’ve proven to be one of the few goth acts that know how to inject real aggression and “metal” into their sound (so much so that I frequently include their music on play lists I run and work out to). Naturally, I expected their streak of quality outings to continue on Hope is Here, but this is a bit of a departure from their usual fare.” Hope is a cold, hard bitch.
