Gothic Metal

Sleep of Monsters – Poison Garden Review

Sleep of Monsters – Poison Garden Review

“Despite picking up plenty of positive press for their debut Produces Reason a couple of years ago (including a glowing review from yours truly), Sleep of Monsters don’t seem to have penetrated far into the metal public’s collective consciousness. Comprising former members of underrated Finnish goth rockers Babylon Whores, overrated Finnish goth rockers HIM, and a host of other decorated musicians, Sleep of Monsters go beyond the narrow confines inhabited by the aforementioned acts, incorporating all manner of different musical ideas into their remarkably coherent overall sound.” Don’t sleep on these monsters.

The Foreshadowing – Seven Heads Ten Horns Review

The Foreshadowing – Seven Heads Ten Horns Review

“Imagine, if you will, a world torn asunder by racial and cultural intolerance. Entire countries are erased, and many religions are shunned, their followers persecuted or worse. Now picture, if you can, a united Europe acting as a new Babylon, a holy ground for those seeking shelter from the bitter storms of prejudice and hate, and bustling with diversity, all while impending doom is just looming over the amber horizon. Such a lofty world is given life on Seven Heads Ten Horns, the fourth album by Italian gothic doom sextet, The Foreshadowing.” A concept album about the 2016 American election cycle? That was fast!

Crescent Lament – Elegy for the Blossoms [Things You Might Have Missed-2015]

Crescent Lament – Elegy for the Blossoms [Things You Might Have Missed-2015]

“Geisha metal could very well be a legitimate label in future, if Elegy for the Blossoms gains more exposure to the international metal community. As the second full-length studio album by indie Taiwanese symphonic gothic metal band Crescent Lament, this record successfully captures the helplessness felt by Taiwanese women of convenience who had little to no choice but to walk the geisha’s path.” Happy Metal Guy lives, for now….

Leaves’ Eyes – King of Kings Review

Leaves’ Eyes – King of Kings Review

“Once a writer has reviewed a band, it’s standard practice for them to review any subsequent records that band releases. Unless, of course, AMG wrote the original review and is too busy masturbating over old Iron Maiden records to critique new music. As you will have noticed, this scenario arose just the other week, and that’s why it’s fallen to me to review Leaves’ Eyes’ latest platter.” We have a system and you’re gonna use it!

Chaos Magic – Chaos Magic Review

Chaos Magic – Chaos Magic Review

“Timo Tolkki is a busy chap. Sure, he isn’t Vardan busy, but I don’t begrudge anyone time to enjoy of deep vacations, not even the former mastermind of Stratovarius. While maintaining his Timo Tolkki’s Avalon project and manning the writing desk for the Allen/Lande albums, you’d think the man would be all tied up. Yet he found time to team with Chilean songbird Caternia Nix to create Chaos Magic, a mega-melodic goth-metal outfit looking to horn in on the sales of Within Temptation, Sirenia and all the other rack metal denizens.” There’s no chaos to see here, move along.

Valborg – Romantik Review

Valborg – Romantik Review

“Admittedly, Valborg’s fifth full-length Romantik was selected for review by yours truly based solely on one thing: Valborg apparently sounds like Triptykon. I know; that’s not exactly the best approach when selecting a promo. However, being the fan I am of Tom G. Warrior Inc. (look no farther than my pick for 2014’s Album of the Year), how could I go wrong?” Did someone get trick-tykoned?

Yer Metal is Olde: Paradise Lost – Draconian Times

Yer Metal is Olde: Paradise Lost – Draconian Times

Draconian Times is an album that never should have worked. By now Paradise Lost’s career trajectory has been discussed ad nauseam – from rotten doom-death to Depeche Mode-inspired dance rock to their current gothic metal resurgence – and Times was essentially that early transition album, a puberty-stricken adolescent with a new slicked-up hairdo and a European leather jacket that still fit a little too big.” It shouldn’t have worked, but it did. And now it’s olde.

Deadspace – The Promise Of Oblivion Review

Deadspace – The Promise Of Oblivion Review

“Transport yourself if you will to the outer reaches of planet Aegis VII. A routine mining operation’s in progress with the situation fast souring. The year is 2508 and our story opens up with the USG Ishimura as it sends out an ominous distress signal to the Concordance Extraction Corporation (CEC)… I’ve misled you, this is not an overdue review of that Dead Space.” Nerd Alert!