Guns N’ Roses

Lordi – Killection (A Fictional Compilation Album) Review

Lordi – Killection (A Fictional Compilation Album) Review

“The rubber costumes, Halloween-themed perversions, and Rob Zombie-meets-’80s hair metal ditties aren’t on the list of ‘Things Metalheads Need.’ Yet, their Gwar-ish concepts spring up every couple of years as the Metal Monster Squad’s own songs (?) summon them via radio shows hosted by either Twisted Sister‘s Dee Snider or Rockin’ Ralph Ruiz. And they don’t seem to care if you want what they have to offer or not—even if they’ve done it some ten times in twice as many years. And, only God/Satan knows, but there’s a handful of you sick sonsabitches out there that enjoy this crap. So, this review of Killection (A Fictional Compilation Album) is for you. Be ashamed of yourself.” Monster, Inc.

Felskinn – Mind Over Matter Review

Felskinn – Mind Over Matter Review

“Let us put on the hat of the elitist for a moment. What separates us from the mainstream pleb? When it comes to extreme metal, the answer is obvious. No mainstream music is so dense, complex and abrasive. Hit lists rarely contain tracks that actively, overtly work to create discomfort and repulsion. When it comes to less obviously anti-commercialism, though, the differences become less pronounced, and a multitude of heavy metal bands have indeed been part of what was considered hit music, back in the glorious ’80s. Felskinn tries to appeal to the hit chart-sensitive among the population while recognizing that classic metal doesn’t embody widely accepted characteristics anymore.” Taste the Felskinn.

Hobosexual – Monolith Review

Hobosexual – Monolith Review

“To fully appreciate where we’re going, we must understand a few things about Hobosexual. Firstly, they’re not metal, and that isn’t going to kill you. I might though, if you opt to miss out on this slab of goodness based on that detail alone, but let’s try to avoid all that. Secondly, that name. According to the band’s Facebook page, ‘Hobosexual was adopted by Ben and Jeff as a tongue in cheek dictatorial spin on affiliation as antiquated preference.” Once you go Hobo, you never get clean.

Electric Wizard – Wizard Bloody Wizard Review

Electric Wizard – Wizard Bloody Wizard Review

“The downside to an early magnum opus in your career is that everything you do afterwards will be compared to it. Pearl Jam never lived up to Ten, Guns ‘n Roses have always cowered under the shadow of Appetite for Destruction, Annihilator spent 14 albums getting compared to the first 2, and Electric Wizard could play nothing but Dopethrone for the rest of their lives. When your career consists of fruitlessly building towers of Babel, trying to reach the God you created, it can be disheartening for an artist struggling to move forward. In this case, your best friend is a reviewer who, against all odds, left listening to that unattainable pillar of perfection near the bottom of their bucketlist.” Hello, friend to wizards.

Zørormr – The Aftermath Review

Zørormr – The Aftermath Review

“Poland’s been the source of some great metal over the years. Behemoth probably comes to mind first, being that Nergal’s the master of controversy and the court room. But putting that aside, there’s Vader, Decapitated, Hate and Lux Occulta, who along with many others have been delivering the goods and then some. Somewhere in the throng, the talents of one-man, black metal or dark ambient artist, Fabian Filiks (Moloch) of Zørormr became a little obscured.” One does not simply hear all the bands in Poland.

Indefensible Positions: El Cuervo Defends Chinese Democracy

Indefensible Positions: El Cuervo Defends Chinese Democracy

“Every once in a while the metal scene collectively pisses on a band or record and someone needs to step up and defend why they like it. We normally don’t spend a lot of time defending shitty records, but sometimes genuinely interesting or good records get lampooned by an overly conservative heavy metal scene and that calls for a professional contrarian to defend it! If ever there were professional contrarians, it would be the staff of AMG.” Cold Lake would be easier to defend!

An Angry Metal Letter to Steven Adler

An Angry Metal Letter to Steven Adler

I understand that you loved Guns ‘N Roses. I mean, really, it must have been the greatest experience of your entire life. It was a time when you were on top of the world. The drummer for an up-and-coming band that owned every venue they played and that got signed and sold millions of records. You had friends, chicks, cash and all the drugs you could sniff, chew on, inject, stick up your ass, and so forth to your little heart’s desire. It’s hard not to imagine that this was the high point of your life, and dude. I get that.