What happens when we embed an AMG staffer at the Graspop metal festival in Belgium? Heavy drinking and strong takes happen.
Guns N’ Roses
Jet Jaguar – Endless Nights Review
“Despite being a sizable and populous country, Mexico has precious few big names in the metal scene. These days their biggest claim to fame is a certain pirate metal drinking song, followed by Brujeria’s brutal cartel-themed death metal. But there is still significant love for the more classic subgenres, and Jet Jaguar are testimony to that fact. Winners of the Wacken Open Air Metal Battle 2017, these 5 gents have been pounding the pavement and reawakening the Mesoamerican hunger for 80’s metal for a while now, and they are finally ready to drop their debut, the garishly neon-colored Endless Nights.” Own the purple night.
Lordi – Killection (A Fictional Compilation Album) Review
“The rubber costumes, Halloween-themed perversions, and Rob Zombie-meets-’80s hair metal ditties aren’t on the list of ‘Things Metalheads Need.’ Yet, their Gwar-ish concepts spring up every couple of years as the Metal Monster Squad’s own songs (?) summon them via radio shows hosted by either Twisted Sister’s Dee Snider or Rockin’ Ralph Ruiz. And they don’t seem to care if you want what they have to offer or not—even if they’ve done it some ten times in twice as many years. And, only God/Satan knows, but there’s a handful of you sick sonsabitches out there that enjoy this crap. So, this review of Killection (A Fictional Compilation Album) is for you. Be ashamed of yourself.” Monster, Inc.
Felskinn – Mind Over Matter Review
“Let us put on the hat of the elitist for a moment. What separates us from the mainstream pleb? When it comes to extreme metal, the answer is obvious. No mainstream music is so dense, complex and abrasive. Hit lists rarely contain tracks that actively, overtly work to create discomfort and repulsion. When it comes to less obviously anti-commercialism, though, the differences become less pronounced, and a multitude of heavy metal bands have indeed been part of what was considered hit music, back in the glorious ’80s. Felskinn tries to appeal to the hit chart-sensitive among the population while recognizing that classic metal doesn’t embody widely accepted characteristics anymore.” Taste the Felskinn.
Hobosexual – Monolith Review
“To fully appreciate where we’re going, we must understand a few things about Hobosexual. Firstly, they’re not metal, and that isn’t going to kill you. I might though, if you opt to miss out on this slab of goodness based on that detail alone, but let’s try to avoid all that. Secondly, that name. According to the band’s Facebook page, ‘Hobosexual was adopted by Ben and Jeff as a tongue in cheek dictatorial spin on affiliation as antiquated preference.” Once you go Hobo, you never get clean.
Electric Wizard – Wizard Bloody Wizard Review
“The downside to an early magnum opus in your career is that everything you do afterwards will be compared to it. Pearl Jam never lived up to Ten, Guns ‘n Roses have always cowered under the shadow of Appetite for Destruction, Annihilator spent 14 albums getting compared to the first 2, and Electric Wizard could play nothing but Dopethrone for the rest of their lives. When your career consists of fruitlessly building towers of Babel, trying to reach the God you created, it can be disheartening for an artist struggling to move forward. In this case, your best friend is a reviewer who, against all odds, left listening to that unattainable pillar of perfection near the bottom of their bucketlist.” Hello, friend to wizards.
Yer Metal Is Olde: Helloween – Keeper of the Seven Keys Part I
“Back in May, my Twitter feed burped this out at me: “30 years ago today, Helloween released Keeper of the Seven Keys Part I.” The memories flooded back. For most of you, our loyal thralls readers, 1987 isn’t even a glint in your papa’s eye.” Still a keeper after all these years.
Digir Gidim – I Thought There Was The Sun Awaiting My Awakening Review
“Diĝir Gidim, a relatively new two-piece hailing from parts unknown and featuring vocalist Lalartu of Titaan, want to test your patience with their debut, the wordy I Thought There Was The Sun Awaiting My Awakening.” Words are free and all, but still….
Zombie Motors Wrecking Yard – Supersonic Rock’n Roll Review
“Supersonic Rock’n Roll is a hard hitting redneck rampage through the dusty deserts of the Australian outback. If you’ve never been, Zombie Motors is about to take you on a tour, like it or not.” Undead outback tours? That could be a money maker!
Zørormr – The Aftermath Review
“Poland’s been the source of some great metal over the years. Behemoth probably comes to mind first, being that Nergal’s the master of controversy and the court room. But putting that aside, there’s Vader, Decapitated, Hate and Lux Occulta, who along with many others have been delivering the goods and then some. Somewhere in the throng, the talents of one-man, black metal or dark ambient artist, Fabian Filiks (Moloch) of Zørormr became a little obscured.” One does not simply hear all the bands in Poland.
