Hammers of Misfortune

Satan – Earth Infernal Review

Satan – Earth Infernal Review

Satan is the original Benjamin Button band. By this I mean the older they get, the better and more youthful sounding their output becomes. Part of the original NWoBHM phenomenon, their 1983 debut Court in the Act made the rounds at Casa Druhm back in the days of denim and high tops, but I was never especially taken with their sound, which felt like a less catchy version of Diamond Head or Angel Witch. I didn’t bother with their 1987 follow-up, Suspended Sentence, and I all but forgot about them as I got deeper into thrash and more extreme styles. Fast-forward 26 years to 2013 and they made a comeback with Life Sentence, and virtually nothing about them sounded the same.” Satan is real.

Black Sites – Untrue Review

Black Sites – Untrue Review

Black Sites has taken his entire collection of musical influences and presented it to you. What makes it unique is how he absorbs his love for bands like Van Halen, Judas Priest, Trouble, Black Sabbath, and Bay-area thrash (to name a few) and puts himself into them. We love Mark in these parts, but that doesn’t shadow the truth that he’s one of the best songwriters in metal today.”

Vastum – Orificial Purge Review

Vastum – Orificial Purge Review

Hole Below used some atmospheric elements and varied tempos to craft a terrifying experience that never once let up, and while Vastum 2019 incorporates bits and pieces of those elements, Orificial Purge settles mostly into mid-paced death metal territory. Combine the lumbering sections of Incantation mixed with Bolt Thrower heft, and you can imagine what 90% of this record sounds like.” Another day at the orifice.

Sabbath Assembly – Rites of Passage Review

Sabbath Assembly – Rites of Passage Review

Sabbath Assembly have been gifting us with music firmly entrenched in eerie discomfort since 2009. In the early years, their releases centered upon the teachings of the Process Church of the Final Judgement, which made them disturbing to the point of near-inaccessibility. In what was a positive career move, the band decided not to regale us with further hippy cult weirdness on 2015’s self-titled release, instead focusing on pure occult songs, resulting in an excellent album that catapulted the band (in our eyes at least) to the top of the occult rock food chain.” Self-cleaning coven.

Locust Leaves – A Subtler Kind of Light Review

Locust Leaves – A Subtler Kind of Light Review

“Even the most stigmatized genres within the metal canon were born out of an earnest desire to innovate, and as such I’m willing to give any style — or in this case, a combination of styles — a fair shake. Enter Greece’s Locust Leaves, a band I was rather eager to cover due to their proclaimed fusion of prog, black, thrash, and doom metal. Locust Leaves does indeed cover all of these styles (and more!) in the span of just thirty-six minutes on their long-gestating debut A Subtler Kind of Light.” Many Greek chefs, small kitchen…FIGHT!

Dr. Fisting’s Top Ten(ish) of 2016

Dr. Fisting’s Top Ten(ish) of 2016

“Scientists all agree that 2016 is the worst year of anyone’s life who has ever lived, including mine. We lost a lot of musical heroes this year (both metal and otherwise), and the current political climate has brought unprecedented levels of stupidity to my doorstep. Worse yet, I am often surrounded by terrible music made by dickheads.” Read this and don’t be a dickhead.

Cardinal Wyrm – Cast Away Souls Review

Cardinal Wyrm – Cast Away Souls Review

“It should be fairly apparent by now that I loves me some doom. As of late, I’ve been on an almost exclusively doom-rich diet: death-doom, blackened doom, even “esoteric doom.” I’m beginning to think it might be high time to cut down; after all, a moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips. But, as always, I’m suckered in by that one last bite… This particular tender morsel comes to me in the form of Americans Cardinal Wyrm and their third release Cast Away Souls, and as it happens, it’s deceptively filling.” Commence the doom shaming.