“When AMG himself dropped a promo on me from a new band from former Gypsyhawk members called Gygax, named after the Godfather of D&D himself, E. Gary Gygax, I was both intrigued and skeptical. I love my metal and nerd tendencies, and Gygax had better come in with a decent THAC0 and saving throw if they wanted to withstand a lashing from yours truly.”
I’ve been in the mood for some killer stoner rock as of late. Ever since the almighty Kyuss went belly-up in 1995, I’ve been on the lookout for some killer jams to race cars, drink a few IPAs, and clean some demons to. The deserts of California were a ripe breeding ground for desert jams, and Kyuss’s disbanding left a gaping hole. Roaring down the highway in a souped-up, cherry-red Camaro comes Norway’s El Caco, who bring with them their seventh full-length, imaginatively entitled 7. Do they have what it takes to become the new stoner rock kings, or should you just hush them all away?
“One Foot in the Flesh Grave’s take on doom punk and swamp rock is just the kind of experience I was hoping for. Formed in the cruel, unrelenting heat of Corpus Christi (Texas), Wailin Storms must have quickly realized that to stand out, their sound needed more than just the country and rockabilly twang they were being exposed to.” Music for misfits and serial killers.
“Many older bands, once established, will eventually coast by just on their name alone. Sure, they’ll cut a new album every few years, but it never lives up to their influential works of yesteryear. It’s often an excuse to go out on the road, play nothing but the classics, and bring home the money while also hocking wares that have nothing to do with the band’s original intent. England’s Killing Joke, however, are a unique beast.” The Joke is on you!
“Replace Steel Panther’s cut-rate comedy with a quintet of Torontonians who seem to actually love the ridiculous hard rock of old and, for better or for worse, you end up with Diemonds .” Female fronted cock rock? That seems wrong.
“Geoff Tate cannot be stopped. Getting fired from Queensryche barely slowed him down, and a lengthy court battle over the band name just made him mad. Hell, we even begged him to show us mercy, but he denied us. Instead, Tate has delivered The Key, the debut outing by his creatively-named new project Operation: Mindcrime.” Someone, somewhere deserves this.
“Royal Hunt has been knocking around the prog-metal circuit forever, and though they’ve dropped a few killer releases, I’d describe their overall discography as a bit spotty. There are those classic albums where their melodic AOR/metal style really hit a sweet spot, and others were it feels like they’re stuck in a lower gear. Their golden age was in the mid 90s with vocalist extraordinaire, D.C. Cooper (Silent Force, Steel Seal) and most fans would likely point to 1997s Paradox as they crowning achievement.” The hunt resumes. Tally ho!
“Not that the plethora of throwback retro-thrash bands wasn’t evidence enough, but the 80’s happened. Fashion was horrendous and hairstyles were worse. Nintendo had kids blowing into their cartridges the world over. And on MTV, for every Iron Maiden and Metallica video that was played, there was a gaggle of hair bands saturating the airwaves to the point of ozone layer depletion from all that Aqua Net used. White Lion was one of those bands, enjoying success after success until Kurt Cobain came along and ruined everything for them.” Let’s see hands from all the little fighters in the hall!
“Truth is, I envy the good people of Spain. Even if they didn’t host those big metal festivals and benefit from constant visits by artists who would never think of coming to my native México, their concert-goer logistical advantages are undeniably desirable. For example, they can jump on a train for a few hours for the chance to, say, attend one of the Altar of Plagues farewell tour dates (fuck, that hurt more than it should’ve), whereas, if I want to catch a train to the US, it would have to be “La Bestia.” Yes that’s Spanish for “The Beast,” also un-ironically known as, “The Death Train.”” And don’t try to use that as excuse to work from home either, son!
“Every once in a while the metal scene collectively pisses on a band or record and someone needs to step up and defend why they like it. We normally don’t spend a lot of time defending shitty records, but sometimes genuinely interesting or good records get lampooned by an overly conservative heavy metal scene and that calls for a professional contrarian to defend it! If ever there were professional contrarians, it would be the staff of AMG.” Cold Lake would be easier to defend!
