“Radioactive Vomit exist to fill your ears with filthy and depraved music that will appeal solely to those who are already experienced with extreme metal and how to enjoy it. These Canadians have the subtlety of a morningstar, and their 2012 Witchblood demo stood alongside Revenge’s Scum.Collapse.Eradication as a how-to guide for nailing down disgusting Incantation-influenced black metal.” Well, that escalated quickly.
“Pulverised Records sure know how to sell an album! Crucifyre’s promo pack is stacked up the wazoo with perfectly sharpened, shiny meat hooks that’ll slide with ease into that soft fleshy bit just under your chin. And just think, while you’re hanging around at attention, Crucifyre will assault you mercilessly with their second full length release, Black Magic Fire. Titbits like album art from computer-game graphic designer Stefan Hansson, that the band is made up of members from Morbid, Crematory and Repugnant and that Hank Shermann (Mercyful Fate, ex-Volbeat) contributed on “One And One Is One” all give that prickly feeling that you’re on the verge of something great.” Still using the “y” instead of the “i”, eh? What’s the point ov that?
“No wove its way onto my playlist around mid way through the year thanks to a tip-off from an Angry Metal Reader, and wow what a find! These angry, snarky cats originate from Notodden in the hills of Norway, but rather than puking out another Darkthrone Unholy Trinity, Haust’s fourth full-length deliver’s a raw, primeval tirade of rock meets punk, culminating in total humiliation and the realization of one’s limitations.” That pretty much sells itself, no?
“Well slap my ass and call me Skippy, the premier name in super-mega, old school, retro, throwback thrash (rethrash for short) is back to teach another post-grad lesson in violence. For those not in the know, that means a new album from Joel Grind’s Toxic Holocaust. Yes folks, things don’t get more painfully stuck in the 80s than the speed churned out by Mr. Grind and if there was ever a man born too late, it’s him. You see, Joel was meant to exist during that original wave of thrash, releasing revolutionary new music to shock the world alongside the likes of Slayer and Exodus. Alas, the Fates turned a mean skein and he was cast forward to this cruel future, where all his best thrashing and bashing is considered tired, recycled and irrelevant by many. Tis quite the shame too, since the man has a true gift for penning genuine 80s thrash and his stuff always has an aura of authenticity that’s lacking in most rethrash.” When I say rethrash, you say Grind!! That was fun, right? But is this album fun? Steel Druhm, a veteran of the rethrash wars, will chime in.
“While the mighty Bolt Thrower lies in their house at R’lyeh, dead but dreaming, Dutch super group Hail of Bullets have become the undisputed champions of war-themed death metal. Featuring the likes of Ed Warby (The 11th Hour, Demiurg) and the immortal Martin van Drunen (Asphyx, ex-Pestilence, ex-Bolt Thrower), these grizzled veterans have made a name for themselves by adopting a winning Bolt Thrower meets Asphyx meets more Bolt Thrower schtik and they’ve churned out some truly tank-busting, old school death over their short but nasty career. Their albums always feature a fantastic mix of classic death grooves and monstrously oppressive doom riffs (especially on On Divine Winds) and they remind me of long forgotten Winter and the dirgey glory of vintage Celtic Frost and Hellhammer. III The Rommel Chronicles doesn’t upset the ammunition cart and the band delivers another broootal, throwback album with little in the way of finesse.” Old school death metal about war and battle. That shit just sells itself, don’t it? Yes it does!
“Here’s something I was really looking forward to! The Ruins of Beverast is a one man solo project from Alexander von Meilenwald, the former drummer of Nagelfar and sometimes drummer in Verdunkeln. Since the Unlock the Shrine debut, Meilenwald has taken his core blackened doom/death sound and increasingly melded it with grim atmospherics, odd, creepy-as-fuck ritual chanting and eerie church music to attain a type of epic horror movie music intended to unsettle and disturb the listener. Each subsequent release dug itself deeper into this construct or terror and unleashed longer, more drawn-out examples of the style, and while the music is the very height of “acquired taste”, it has a terribly compelling power that draws one back.” Do you like really long, creepy blackened doom with tons of occult elements? Who doesn’t, right? Join Steel Druhm as he discusses witches, witch burning, women’s rights and song length.
“What catapults one album to the front of a promo pile (seeing it reviewed on countless sites), and has the next album lurching and blundering along, no reviews, the band lost in obscurity? Active only between 89 and 90, Finnish doom thrashster’s Exitus suffered just such a fate with their one and only release Statutum Est Hominibus Mori seeing the light as a demo sold to friends. A lifetime later (23 years to be exact) Svart Records saw fit to drag this dusty masterpiece kicking and screaming out into the sun, pulled a little remastering magic out of the hat and wham Exitus are back!” Madam X uses the release of a long buried demo from an unknown act to jump into the whole “retro-spective review” craze. Yep, now she’s a bandwagon gal.
“Bands regularly lay claim to being ‘old school’, to bringing back the ‘glory days’. But from my experience, what they’re REALLY trying to tell you, is that they’re foisting their low budget recording quality onto you and they’re serving you a platter of replica tracks. This was my first thought when I saw that Necro and Equimanthorn’s big selling point on Pest was that their brand of Swedish black metal is ‘played in the old vein, no females or keyboards involved’ naturally I prepared myself for the worst…” Old school Swedish black metal? Isn’t all black metal old school? Regardless, Madam x delves into the latest Pest and tells you if they annoy her.
“Whoa! Steel Druhm did not expect this thing to kick anywhere near as much ass as it does. In fact, this is an insidious ass-kicking machine, free from the lab and turned loose on mankind with naught but ill intent. The author of this wanton hiney massacre is one Joel Grind, the force behind the old school, retro thrash band Toxic Holocaust. Between albums he apparently felt the burning need to craft this hugely lethal collection of thrash anthems under this eponymous project name.” Imagine if old Bathory got humped by Motorhead and Slayer and you would have a good idea what this goat sounds like. BAAAAH!
Madam X gets all the hot, nasty necro-metal! Here, she examines whether tales of necro-lesbianism make for a great album. The answer just might surprise you!
