Hells Headbangers Records

Denial of God – The Hallow Mass Review

Denial of God – The Hallow Mass Review

“He dribbles down the court, the clock winding down to an excruciating ten seconds. He fakes left and tears right, leaving his opponent stumbling. This is why the Orlando Magic drafted the Most High with their No. 1 pick, because with God, all things are possible⁠—like a deep playoff run.” I doubt even God can conjure that up this year.

Slaughtbbath – Alchemical Warfare Review

Slaughtbbath – Alchemical Warfare Review

“Time to draw ourselves a Slaughtbbath, folks. What bathing in slaughtb feels like is known to those who heard 2013’s Hail to Fire, the predecessor of Alchemical Warfare and Slaughtbbath’s debut. I took a Slaughtbbath many times via Hail to Fire, which is the least important qualification I possess to review that record’s successor. My most important qualification? Look at my pen name, and then look at the title of this record; Slaughtbbath and I share an enjoyment of gratuitous Slayer puns.” Rub-a-drub-drub.

Synteleia – Ending of the Unknown Path Review

Synteleia – Ending of the Unknown Path Review

“In recent years Greek black metal has become one of my favorite strains of the genre. To me, the scene excels because it rejects rote riffing and instead embraces a style that’s at once militant, melodic, and mystical. The Greek sound has existed for a while and often the bands that embody it are either older acts (Rotting Christ, Varathron) or have scene veterans in their ranks (Funeral Storm). In this regard, Synteleia are an anomaly.” Greek freaks.

Abysmal Lord – Exaltation of the Infernal Cabal Review

Abysmal Lord – Exaltation of the Infernal Cabal Review

“Metal reflects its environs. England’s gloomy weather gave birth to the Peaceville Three, the lush forests of the Pacific Northwest gave birth to Cascadian black metal, and the lazy Southern swagger of New Orleans gave birth to sludge. But the sweltering heat of the Big Easy also produced another vile offspring, a hellish bastard child forged by hundred degree summers and humidity high enough to turn your grundle into Lake Pontchartrain. Abysmal Lord is their name and bestial blackened death metal is their game.” Laying cabal.

Barbarian – To No God Shall I Kneel Review

Barbarian – To No God Shall I Kneel Review

“‘Behold, Esau my brother is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man.’ It’s odd that a metal album calls to mind Genesis, but in this case it feels strangely appropriate. Even within genres, different bands occupy different niches. Some bands make music that’s tight, slick, and professional, some bands make music that sounds like a bunch of cavemen somehow acquired and learned to play modern instruments. True to their name, Italian trio Barbarian tend toward the latter. But lest you think that’s a slight against them, think again.” Honey, I think someone is at the gates.

Funeral Storm – Arcane Mysteries Review

Funeral Storm – Arcane Mysteries Review

“Mystical. Archaic. Melodic. Militant. Triumphant. All words that could be used to describe Greek black metal, and all reasons why albums like Macabre Omen’s Gods of War – At War and Rotting Christ’s mid-00s material hold a special place in my blackened heart. Funeral Storm aren’t technically a new name on the scene, though you’d be forgiven for never having heard of them given they’ve released virtually nothing other than a few splits since their 2002 formation.” Putting the Hell in Hellenic.

Deiphago – I, the Devil Review

Deiphago – I, the Devil Review

“Pretense is a bitch. I’ve found myself being more and more cynical through the years about people who claim to be the best at what they do. From athletes and artists to people I interact with on a daily basis, I prefer action and art to speak for itself. Therefore, I found myself suspicious with Filipino blackened death metal three-piece Deiphago, who proclaim to be ‘arguably the most violent band on the planet, as well as one of the most envelope-pushing.'” Heavy is as heavy does.

Pounder – Uncivilized Review

Pounder – Uncivilized Review

“Sometimes, rarely, there is value in a stupid band name, the kind of band name that causes one to double-take, think “surely not,” and pry open the battered, stained crate in the promo bin, if only for more information. So it is with Pounder, side project of Exhumed and Gruesome’s Matt Harvey, Carcass newcomer Tom Draper, and Nausea’s Alejandro Corredor. Despite the death metal pedigrees of the musicians, that dreadful name telegraphs everything you need to know about what to expect: brainless, cheesy, and oh so 80s.” Death to the 80s!

Chainbreaker – Lethal Desire Review

Chainbreaker – Lethal Desire Review

Chainbreaker. It’s a name that conjures images of freedom being won, justice being attained, and dragons being mothered, but it only takes a cursory listen to the lyrics on Lethal Desire to realize that this is a band whose aspirations are not nearly so lofty. Comprised of former members of Toxic Holocaust and Cauldron, Toronto’s Chainbreaker specializes in speedy thrash anthems dedicated to hell, killing, drugs, and what the Bible refers to as fornication, and sometimes all of these at one time.” Chained to the oldies.

Nekrofilth – Worm Ritual Review

Nekrofilth – Worm Ritual Review

“Metal is all about excess. Be as fast as possible. Be as slow as possible. Or, in Nekrofilth’s case, be as nasty as possible. Just take the lyrics of “Junkie Cunt,” from the band’s 2013 debut Devil’s Breath: “I want to squeeze your rotten tits/Your curdled cunt gets my cock so fucking hard!” Unless you’re trying to get rid of your in-laws, these aren’t the type of people you’d invite to your Christmas party.” Filthy masses.