Hells Headbangers

Sadokist – Necrodual Dimension Funeral Storms Review

Sadokist – Necrodual Dimension Funeral Storms Review

“Finland is not a country I identify with violent crime. High rates of alcoholism, maybe, and depression due to long Winter nights, maybe. But it’s regarded as one of the safest countries in the world otherwise, with high standards of education, healthcare and equality. This, apparently, does not translate to Lahti, the hometown of Sadokist.” Too much horror business.

Shed the Skin – We of Scorn Review

Shed the Skin – We of Scorn Review

“The music on the sophomore release by Cleveland’s death metal quintet Shed the Skin is deceptively simple. In its core, the band’s possessed, groove-laden death metal is propelled steadily forward at medium pace and with a certain brutality characteristic for Hells Headbangers’ roster. Around these straightforward and conventional structures, floating somewhere between thrash, old school, and modern death metal, the group cultivates an abundance of flair and an aura of tight frolic.” Frolic through the grave park.

Nexul – Paradigm of Chaos Review

Nexul – Paradigm of Chaos Review

“There is something surprisingly comforting, dare I say nostalgic, in Nexul’s punishing full-length début Paradigm of Chaos. Perhaps it’s the wistfulness attached to the band’s raw, hissy black/death metal approach and over-the-top Luciferian imagery. Their music today appears as an echo of a homicidal time and place which the genre occupied during its infancy. As if a splinter of the heartfelt occult hatefulness of the early Norwegian black metal scene somehow made its way to El Paso, Texas.” Morbid tourist.

Haxxan – Loch Ness Rising Review

Haxxan – Loch Ness Rising Review

“Aleister Crowley: occultist, ceremonial magician, poet, painter, and chess player. The shroud of the occult followed his blackened coat-tails like an obedient dog. Was he really a prophet sent to guide humanity? Was he really a spy working for the British government? Was he really one with the spiritual world or were the drugs he siphoned into himself just a tad too potent? Whatever your view, the stories and philosophies of Crowley and others of his ilk brighten up the dullness of our material lives; their obsessive attraction to the weird and wacky of this world has unearthed a plentiful abundance of material for musicians and writers to utilize.” Don’t play chess with the Devil.

Witchtrap – Trap the Witch Review

Witchtrap – Trap the Witch Review

“Look at that album title. Look at that art. Now that is a gimmick! Forgive my exuberance, but after only just overcoming the trauma-induced tinnitus from my previous attempts at thrash, Witchtrap prove that good things come to those who scour the promo sheet with a fine-toothed comb.” Nasty things come to those who dumpster dive.

Agatus – The Eternalist Review

Agatus – The Eternalist Review

“In today’s fast-paced world where instant gratification is king, once a winning formula has been established, it’s tempting for many bands to play it safe, shy away from experimentation, and resort to simply churning out variations on the same record every few years (*cough* Amon Amarth *cough*). I always have a lot of respect therefore for musicians who are willing to take a risk, mix things up a bit and diversify their style – creating their own record as opposed to simply writing what is expected of them. Agatus are one such band.” A double review brought to you by administrative tomfoolery.

Abhomine – Larve Offal Swine Review

Abhomine – Larve Offal Swine Review

“Pete Helmkamp’s varied projects over the years have one special unifying quality: there is something unsettling about them all that transcends music and hits the core of your being, reminding you that the world is an immaculately fucked up place and our tenure on it is tentative at best. Larvae Offal Swine, the debut album under the moniker Abhomine, is Helmkamp’s first true solo effort in which he wrote and performed all of the music with the exception of the drums. How does this nigh legendary extreme metal front man stand when on his own?” Offal before swine?

Embalmer – Emanations from the Crypt Review

Embalmer – Emanations from the Crypt Review

“The most lauded element of Ohio gorehounds Embalmer’s past work was the deranged voice of former vocalist Rick Fleming. As cited on their Wikipedia page (clearly written by someone close to if not in the band), “In 2013 the band parted ways with vocalist Rick Fleming, who subsequently robbed the band of the remainder of the band fund before going into hiding.” Under the “Former members” section he is listed as “Dick Fleming.” Not likely a typo. Ahhhh, Wikirevenge!” Wikirevenge is a dish best served with embalming fluid and sauteed tomatoes.

Goat Semen – Ego Svm Satana Review

Goat Semen – Ego Svm Satana Review

“What can I say, sometimes you just have to grab promo because it’s obnoxious and crude and sounds like a wacky way to ride out the week. Native to Peru, an area that offers as varied a range of metal as the biodiversity of the country itself, Goat Semen are delivering their debut full-length release.” What can we say, Madam X loves animals.

High Spirits – You Are Here Review

High Spirits – You Are Here Review

“Running searches on the vast database that is the Metal Archives can be a fascinating – and sometimes hilarious – way of looking at the genre at a whole. For example, filtering for “lyrical themes”, unsurprisingly, finds that “nihilism” and “national socialism” trump out “rock”, “rocking” and “fun” in the heavy metal thematic lexicon. We sure are a cynical bunch, aren’t we? I’d like to think that Chicago-based traditional metal champion Chris Black (fellow music journalist and leader of a number of lauded traditional heavy metal groups such as Dawnbringer and Pharaoh, both of which I’ve unfortunately managed to neglect) himself went on a sojourn into these nether reaches of the Archives and decided that enough was enough. Black clearly has no time for modern metal cynicism, and his one-man throwback project High Spirits, with lyrical themes tagged in the Archives with “rocking” and “being in high spirits,” is about as light-hearted and easily palatable as modern metal gets.” Chris Black continues to be the new black in the world of throwback metal.