“It’s become a cliché around the halls of AMG that stoner doom is difficult to do badly, but even more difficult to do well. As a result, it tends to hang in the “difficult to review” window of 2.5-3.5. There’s also not a whole lot of energy from readers. Whether stoner-selection bias is responsible (munchies trump comments), or the genre itself fails to excite ordinary metal fans, the fact remains that anticipation around these releases is generally low.” Sleepytime tales.
“I’ll not proclaim any prior knowledge of this band, nor even a particular affinity for their advertised genre of stoner metal. These Polish gents were selected on the bases of an excellent name and central conceit of an album featuring just 2 tracks over 30 minutes. Over that length of time, I was at least assured that it would not be too taxing to review Taxi Caveman. Interestingly, Galactic Slope is described on its one sheet as a sophomore bridge between their debut and third album, the expression of which suggests to me that it’s not a substantial release in its own right. Given there are but 2 tracks, and at great risk of editorial wrath, I’ll take each in turn.” Crazy taxi.
![Kyning – Ān [Things You Might Have Missed 2021]](https://www.angrymetalguy.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/12/Kyning-An-01.jpeg.webp)
“Vocals are almost always a focal point in modern music of any type. Pop music is practically exclusively about vocalists, hip-hop is defined solely by its vocal style, and so on. Metal vocals oftentimes attempt to buck the trends, whether they’re unintelligible, buried beneath the music, or simply a mediocre afterthought. The latter option is more common in stoner metal, and that is where our path leads today.” Wabbit season.
“Fuck mushrooms, man. Sure, that sounds pretty extreme, considering their healing properties and whatnot, but everyone’s favorite vegan meat substitute/hallucinogen/pizza topping contains some serious nightmare fuel. Take what they do to insects, for instance. “Dude, they’re ants,” you might scoff. Have you ever played The Last of Us? Also, Mario. Plumber extraordinaire. Eats one mushroom, gets “tall”, and kicks poor, defenseless turtles into each other while headbutting blocks for pocket change, glowing flowers made of fire, edible stars, and MORE MUSHROOMS. Shit ain’t normal, folks. So when Swedish trio Cavern Deep decided to pen a story about 50 archaeologists who discover a subterranean world loaded with luminescent fungi, you best believe that fuckery is afoot.” Shroom for growth.
“Look, I’m gonna keep this fairly brief and there is a simple reason for this: I picked up the debut from Germany’s Giants, Dwarfs and Black Holes to replace another promo that I dropped, after discovering that album was a reissue. I did no prior research on GDaBH, simply grabbing the first free thing with a similar release date and only later discovered THIS IS ALSO A FUCKING REISSUE!” Ever-issues.
“I’m a simple n00b. I like my meat rare, my Dr. Pepper with ice[1. Shoutout to adults who drink soda.], and my black metal raw. I don’t ask for much, just give me some chunky riffs and the vision to support them and you have my axe. What Minneapolis’ traditional doomers Kult Of The Wizard have done on their latest offering, Gold, is so much more and it’s made a simple n00b like myself all warm inside in a way that the usual holiday cheer of the season doesn’t normally bring about.” N00b appeal.
