Jethro Tull

Plain Ride – Skeleton Kites Review

Plain Ride – Skeleton Kites Review

Plain Ride,’s latest album, Skeleton Kites, is billed as “a blues album created with a mindset of a West African proto-doom band, made in Finland.” If you’re wondering what the fuck that means, that makes two of us. More importantly, who is Plain Ride? Well, they’re a 5-piece band from Finland who have been around for about a decade. They’re led by vocalist/guitarist Janne Westerlund, who is apparently a big deal as a solo artist (never heard of him). Their website describes their style as “Folk, Country, Blues, hypno-psychedelic Krautrock.” In layman’s terms, that means that Plain Ride is either pretentious as fuck, or they have a very imaginative PR person.” I’m putting money on the latter.

Things You Might Have Missed 2013: Avatarium – Avatarium

Things You Might Have Missed 2013: Avatarium – Avatarium

“Some of these things “we miss” during the year are understandably obscure and I don’t lose much sleep worrying about the overall health of my Metal Detector. Sometimes however, we whiff on a biggie and are left wondering if our collective ear to the metal underground needs a hearing aid (of steel). This is one of those whiffs. That’s because Avatarium is the new project of none other than Leif Fucking Edling (Candlemass, Krux, Abstract Algebra, etc.) and since the man is one of the modern-day Lords of Doom, we clearly should have seen this coming sooner.” Oops is all we can say on this one. The classy thing to do is forgive and move on.

Ayreon – The Theory of Everything Review

Ayreon – The Theory of Everything Review

“Of all of Arjen Lucassen’s projects, Ayreon is his best known and my least favorite. Having previously given both The Human Equation and 01011001 a shot, Ayreon really was a nut I couldn’t crack. Partially this is because I think the rock opera genre of power/prog metal bands à la Avantasia or Timo Tolkki’s Horrible, Terrible, No Good, Very Bad Avalon tend to lack vision; but the writers also lack the kind of talent necessary that make undertakings like Jesus Christ Superstar or Little Shop of Horrors fun and interesting.” One does not simply write a 600 word review for a 90 minute concept record from Arjen Lucassen. Click to see the epic of The Theory of Everything.

Hexvessel – Iron Marsh Review

Hexvessel – Iron Marsh Review

“Things seem to come on threes, be they good, bad or some combination thereof. As proof of this cosmic law, this week has graced me with three examples of stoner/doom/retro music: Ghost, Spiritual Beggars and now Hexvessel. I hadn’t heard of this oddball, psychedelic group of Finns until their No Holier Temple album last year, and I found myself quite taken with their folksy, trippy and hypnotic take on 60s and 70s rock.” And now they’re back with an EP that tells the rest of the story! Are you ready for more Finnish forest folk? You better be!

Magister Templi – Lucifer Leviathan Logos Review

Magister Templi – Lucifer Leviathan Logos Review

“There aren’t a lot of bands out there that come close to duplicating King and co’s brand of malevolence. From his piercing falsetto and his operatic shrieks to his mid-range torturous screams and evil growls, King Diamond owns! Norwegian based, NWOBHM-inspired Magister Templi combine occult, doom flavored lyrics reminiscent of Venom and Mercyful Fate with upbeat, power chord infused melody along the lines of Mercyful Fate and Pagan Altar to arrive at a groovy platter of satanic malarkey.” Nobody likes malarkey, or hokum for that matter, but that doesn’t stop Madam X from hailing the King and reporting how Magister Templi robs the musical grave of the immortal Mercyful Fate (if they’re immortal, why do they even have a grave??). That’s like a desecration of souls!!

Gazpacho – March of Ghosts Review

Gazpacho – March of Ghosts Review

Gazpacho has to be the worst name for a band ever. The soup itself is frankly a little on the unexciting side as it is, being a vegetable soup served cold. It’s actually Spanish or Portuguese, isn’t it? Being Norwegian, couldn’t they have chosen say, lefse or something? Not only is it tastier (Mmm, a bit of sugar and butter and I’m a Happy Metal Guy! NOMNOMNOM!), but it’s Norwegian! Like the band! Get it!? Well, anyway, needless to say I was less than stoked to actually dig my ear-fingers into this record. How could a band that can’t come up with a decent band name come up with good music? I mean, this is an existential question… really.

Hammers of Misfortune – 17th Street Review

Hammers of Misfortune – 17th Street Review

Few obscure, under-ground bands find the level of respect and reverence that San Francisco’s Hammers of Misfortune has. These avaunt-garde weirdos have been doing things their way since 2001 and slowly building appreciation and acclaim along the way. Deftly defying genre tags and easy (lazy) categorization by reviewers like myself, they’ve churned out a uniquely progressive amalgam of NWOBHM, folk, doom and ’70s rock. So unusual is their sound, the only truly comparable band is sister/brother act Slough Feg, with which they’ve swapped influences and members over the years. It’s a pretty safe bet if you like the Feg, you’ll dig what the Hammers are cooking too. Of the two, the Hammers were and are the weirder, more experimental outfit and under the leadership of guitarist/vocalist John Cobbett (ex-Slough Feg, ex-Ludicra), they’ve traveled some strange roads but always packed truckloads of melody and quirky charm. After an overly long wait since 2008’s Fields/Church of Broken Glass, we’re finally treated to their fifth album 17th Street and its a reassuring blast of sonic strangeness, musical eccentricity and refreshing innovation. Although not crushingly heavy or shockingly aggressive, its plenty metal, hugely melodic, catchy and most importantly, original! If that doesn’t sound good to you, go read my diatribe about black metal.

Opeth – Heritage Review

Opeth – Heritage Review

Disclaimer: Knowing how to review this record has been very difficult for me because I’m a big fan of the band and I have no desire to try make my opinion seem bigger than the band’s work. I understand my subjective position as a reviewer very well. But this record suffers from pretty major issues that it make it very difficult for me to enjoy and that show off the weakness of the band in its current incarnation. I am aware that there will be a good amount of whining and gnashing of teeth over this review, and you’re welcome to it. Just remember that I 1) am not invested in Opeth playing death metal; 2) like plenty of bands that have changed their sounds; and 3) enjoy progressive and abstract music of all stripes very much.