King Diamond

Bryan Eckermann – Plague Bringers Review

Bryan Eckermann – Plague Bringers Review

“Bryan Eckermann, of such acts as Scars of the Flesh and Wings of Abaddon, is something of a multi-instrumentalist. In the aforementioned bands, for example, he covers guitars, bass, and drumming, which is already more than a lot of musicians can say for themselves. Since 2014, however, he has also stood at the helm of his own solo project, for which he does, well, everything. Vocals? Eckermann. Keys? Drums? All Eckermann. Mixing? Mastering? Recording? Still Eckermann.” One-man army.

Black Soul Horde – Horrors from the Void Review

Black Soul Horde – Horrors from the Void Review

“So you just endured a long, soul-killing week of nonstop 4.0s at the AMG Forced Labor Emporium and need to get away from a certain cadre of overrating hack reviewers. You get home, kick off the war boots, seize a large tankard of ale, a larger goblet of hobo wine, and sit down for a relaxed sampling of Black Soul Horde‘s latest platter of epic/trve sword-worship, Horrors from the Void. And what happens? You get unexpectedly tentacle smacked across the face, chest, and ham hocks by slimy Lovecraftian horrors from beyond space and time.” Tendril innsmouth disease.

Portrait – At One with None Review

Portrait – At One with None Review

“When I was a diesel mechanic, I was regularly married to certain trucks. If you did a PM on it, you were now the expert on the truck. If the jackass driver filled it with gasoline instead of diesel, and you were the one that dropped the tanks and flushed the system, it was yours forever. If the Jakes and cruise control stop working and you spend eight hours ripping the entire dash apart to rewire everything that fried, you were definitely married to that truck. And, when that truck rolled back into the yard, everyone went quiet. They all knew you’d be dropping everything and your day would be in or under that piece of shit. They were quiet because you hate that fucking truck and you threw your favorite wrench set across the shop to show how much you hate it. And, as I was married to Kenworth Karen, I’m married to anything related to King Diamond and Mercyful Fate here at AMG.” Portrait of Fate.

Bonehunter – Dark Blood Reincarnation System Review

Bonehunter – Dark Blood Reincarnation System Review

Bonehunter and I have a deep, penetrable relationship that’s difficult to describe. They put out albums, and I review them. OK, so that wasn’t complicated. But, the last time I checked, I’ve reviewed more of their albums than I have any other band since starting at AMG. This year’s Dark Blood Reincarnation System makes four albums and four Grier reviews for these crusty Finns. If you don’t know Bonehunter, it’s time you were educated. Bonehunter is best known for two things: bear erections and punky, black-thrash.” Bones to the wall.

Silver Talon – Decadence and Decay Review

Silver Talon – Decadence and Decay Review

“It’s amazing to me the camps formed from a single band. And I’m not even talking about a popular arena band. I’m talking about Oregon’s laid-to-rest Spellcaster. First, there was Idle Hands—now known as Unto Others—a band that shocked many-o’ peep around these parts. A name that showed up on lists and haunted many a comment section. Where they’ll go from here, no one quite knows. But, I know we can expect big things. Another outfit that launched from the ashes of Spellcaster is Silver Talon.” Idle talons.

Mister Misery – A Brighter Side of Death Review

Mister Misery – A Brighter Side of Death Review

“‘Don’t judge a book by its cover,’ so the saying goes. But in our modern metal landscape, where a single look at an album cover or a song name can hook us or repel us forever, it’s damn hard to do otherwise. Mister Misery (strike one) are dying for your attention, as illustrated by that album cover (strike two). Their so-called brand of “horror metal” should be strike three, good morning, good afternoon, good night. And yet… maybe read the first page.” Twisted Mister.

Crystal Viper – The Cult Review

Crystal Viper – The Cult Review

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little afraid of picking up the new Crystal Viper. Having never let me down, the band’s 2019 release, Tales of Fire and Ice, was truly disappointing. In fact, it’s so disappointing, that after three-to-four spins, I erased it from my computer and threw out the review I was writing. Sadly, its only mention was as a 2019 Disappointment o’ the Year. So, yeah, I was a little worried.” Cult is just another word for family.

Them – Return to Hemmersmoor [Things You Might Have Missed 2020]

Them – Return to Hemmersmoor [Things You Might Have Missed 2020]

“I can’t believe we never received the promo for Them‘s Return to Hemmersmoor. I mean, seriously, I’m their biggest fan! Even when their first album fell into the hands of an anti-Diamonder, I still hailed the shit out of it. This October, I even asked my kids if they wanted to watch Tim Burton’s Sweet Hollow. That’s how much the band is on my mind.” Themsmoor.

Yer Metal Is Olde: King Diamond – The Eye

Yer Metal Is Olde: King Diamond – The Eye

“Then there’re examples like Fast Eddie Clarke walking away from Motörhead and the canning of Ozzy Osbourne by Black Sabbath. Anthrax, Exodus, Iron Maiden, and Judas Priest lost their vocalists, who psyched everyone out and returned later anyway. In some cases, end-of-era albums are more like transition pieces—bridging the gap between the band of old and the band of new. Arguably Metallica‘s …And Justice For All fits the bill. It was clear that Justice was different, but it wasn’t until Metallica arrived that everyone saw what Justice really was. King Diamond‘s The Eye is also such an album.” Fading eyesight.