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Madam X’s Top Ten(ish) of 2014

Madam X’s Top Ten(ish) of 2014

“As 2015 makes her grand and stately entrance, bear with and support me as I try to hunt down even more new blackened death metal albums that sound exactly like Septicflesh.” Madam X has her foibles, but she also has plenty of quirks. Join her as she unveils a Top Ten(ish) list sure to bumfuzzle and befuddle.

Audrey Horne – Pure Heavy Review

Audrey Horne – Pure Heavy Review

“It pains me to say it, but the best American rock band hails from Norway. Their name is Audrey Horne and they’re mercy ruling the competition out of the game. This brilliant, idiot-manchild side project of Ice Dale (Enslaved) and Thomas Tofthagen (Sahg) has blazed a shockingly catchy trail of pure rock lunacy since 2005s Confessions and Alcohol. Their eponymous 2010 album was a positively brilliant amalgam of Faith No More and Stone Temple Pilots, surpassed only by 2013s Youngblood for skin snagging hooks and mega memorable rock anthems. This is the kind of band that serves up frothy, foamy good times music with so much swagger they can barely walk in a straight line. That’s right, it’s big pimpin, hard rocking, dirty rolling, greasy rock that sticks to the ribs and makes you cooler just by listening.” Resistance is futile, you will be converted to the Horde of Horne.

Iron Tongue – The Dogs Have Barked, The Birds Have Flown Review

Iron Tongue – The Dogs Have Barked, The Birds Have Flown Review

“It’s unusual to see a Southern metal band opting for comic-style album artwork, one typically expects to see John Baizley’s surreal, exotic and naked-women-filled art gracing the cover. However, the music on this record is anything but comical; this Arkansas sextet means (retro) business.” Happy Metal Guy talks on the merits of prescription drugs, dope, sludge and rehab and he manages to fit in a review of Iron Tongue’s The Dogs Have Barked, The Birds Have Flown!

Spiritual Beggars – Earth Blues Review

Spiritual Beggars – Earth Blues Review

“One of our readers recently commented that we convinced him the only independent bands were stoner/doom bands. That sentiment is surely understandable given the enormous volume of the stuff cropping up these days. It’s not limited to independent bands either, as Spiritual Beggars clearly demonstrates again on album number eight, Earth Blues. Since Michael Amott’s (Arch Enemy, Carcass) long-lived stoner/retro-rock project clearly isn’t going away, you might as well put on the obnoxiously colorful tie-dye shirt (the theme this time appears to be radioactive orange) and enjoy the homage to all things late 60s/early 70s.” Set the lava lamps to “wake and bake” and get settled into your bean bag chairs, the Spiritual Beggars are back to shake your VW van! Steel Druhm shook off his contact high to tell you if this is worth your free love.

New Keepers of the Water Towers – Cosmic Child Review

New Keepers of the Water Towers – Cosmic Child Review

Cosmic Child came through a little thin on the promo information (and in fact prior to listening to it for the first time, I didn’t even know the name of the album – so much for embedded album info) at any rate, I figured alright, close your eyes, hit play and go from there – how bad can it be right? The band name conjured up images of something with a Finntroll flavor – tell me a band name like New Keepers of the Water Towers doesn’t sound even remotely folky and troll-like right? It actually ended up being absofuckinglutely nothing like Finntroll, go figure!” But…if it isn’t like Fintroll, what the hell is it like??? Calm down. Madam X will now answer your questions.

Things You Might Have Missed 2012: The Night Flight Orchestra – Internal Affairs

Things You Might Have Missed 2012: The Night Flight Orchestra – Internal Affairs

Lost in the diarrhea-like flood of bad deathcore and pretentious doom metal released in 2012, a little band from Sweden released a gem of old-school, adjective-less rock ‘n roll. The album in question is Internal Affairs by The Night Flight Orchestra, a quintet that just happens to include vocalist Björn “Speed” Strid and guitarist David […]

Arjen Lucassen – Lost in the New Real Review

Arjen Lucassen – Lost in the New Real Review

A few years back when Guilt Machine released, Arjen Lucassen (of—deep breath—Ayreon, Star One, Arjen Lucassen, Guilt Machine, Galexia, Stream of Passion, Vengeance, Ambeon and a myriad of other projects I probably don’t even know exist) is reported to have said that if he’d had to do it over again, Ayreon would have sounded like Guilt Machine. Whether that was just talk in the build up for a new record or not, it appears that to a certain extent he meant it, as his new Lost in the New Real sounds like the combination of the two projects. On the one hand, Lost in the New Real is a concept record and (faux) double album, featuring the dulcet tones of Rutger Hauer as narrator and “psychologist,” like one would expect from an Ayreon record. However, like Guilt Machine, the record features primarily only one vocalist (Arjen himself), and the music is largely a post-Pink Floyd progressive rock heavy with atmospherics and sweet, but melancholic, melodies. As a fan of Guilt Machine and not of Ayreon, I can say that I was curious to see how this sort of combination would work and I was pleasantly surprised.

Rival Sons – Pressure and Time Review

Rival Sons – Pressure and Time Review

Ah, the 70s. Bell bottom jeans, afros, Volkswagen vans, key parties, all the amusing trends that won’t be missed [How could you miss Pet Rocks!? Oh, and cocaine! – AMG]. What is missed however is quality Rock n’ Roll with balls, integrity and real chutzpah. Well, thanks to this very surprising release by Los Angeles based Rival Sons, the 70s rock ethos comes roaring back in a BIG way (thankfully without the bell bottoms). While Pressure and Time is their third release, I’m shamefully late to the party and let me say, I’m fucking impressed as all hell. Fusing elements of Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, The Doors, Mountain, The Beatles, Creedence Clearwater Revival and healthy doses of blues (and even hints at Motown), this thing rumbles and rattles with an authentic 70s rage and energy that I wouldn’t have believed possible in 2011. From start to finish Pressure and Time blasts away with powerful, emotive and fun rock like they don’t make anymore (except these guys apparently) and its a helluva ride. This sounds like some long lost rock masterpiece, exhumed in a time capsule and finally released. It ain’t exactly metal as we know it in 2011 but it’s hard edged, rowdy, raw and loud enough to win over all but the most extreme metal fans.