Lizzy Borden

Shok Paris – Full Metal Jacket Review

Shok Paris – Full Metal Jacket Review

“Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle! There’s a new Shok Paris album floating in the glop and gunk of the promo sump! Truly no one saw that coming because Shok Paris was a blip on the 80s metal radar, managing three albums that were decent but definitely low second-tier in the grand scheme of things. They’re most famous (and I use that term loosely here) for the over-the-top vocals of frontman, Vic Hix. The man sounded like Blackie Lawless hopped up on discount Super Soldier Formula and 5 Hour Energy while trying to channel Danzig and Messiah Marcolin simultaneously.” Paris had it coming.

Lizzy Borden – My Midnight Things Review

Lizzy Borden – My Midnight Things Review

“Lizzy Borden is the original odd duck. He essentially reinvented Alice Cooper‘s brand of theatrical metal for the 80s with his over the top stage persona and Broadway-ready writing style. An early beneficiary of Metal Blade’s Metal Massacre compilation series, he used early albums like Love You to Pieces and Menace to Society to position himself as the hair metal King Diamond¬†–¬†more pomp than pentagrams, less Satan than satin, and though he could be hard to take seriously at times, the man had talent as a singer and writer.” The axe is back.

Retro-spective Review: Lizzy Borden – Master of Disquise

Retro-spective Review: Lizzy Borden – Master of Disquise

“Lizzy Borden was the charming tyke famous for chopping up her folks with an axe (allegedly). Lizzy Borden the band (and the man) are much less famous, and that’s why I’m casting the attention nets back through time to land their magnum opus for your consideration. As part of the wave of slightly glamy hair metal acts that spewed from L.A. in the 80s, Lizzy and W.A.S.P. were basically cut from the same animal print cloth. They wanted to be metal, but sought to incorporate lots of radio friendly hooks and glam, sleaze n’ trash theatrics.” Ready for a hair metal rock opera? Wait, come back, it’s really good!

Alpha Tiger – Beneath the Surface Review

Alpha Tiger – Beneath the Surface Review

“Move your skinny asses over, Enforcer, there’s a new sheriff in Retro City and the name is really shitty. I know a pussy cat name like Alpha Tiger won’t inspire much faith amongst the angry metal masses, but trust me, the music more than makes up for the cheese-tastic moniker (which belongs on a third-rate Japanese video game where you brawl through a zoo and up the food chain). This is unapologetically old school, traditional metal taking its cues from early 80s American acts like Agent Steel, Armored Saint, John Arch era-Fates Warning, Sacred Oath and Crimson Glory.” Yes, Steel Druhm is delivering MORE retro metal for your consideration!! Deal with it. ROAR!

Hell – Human Remains Review

Hell – Human Remains Review

Wow, yet another reminder that you can’t always judge a metal album by the cover. By looking at the artwork for Hell’s debut Human Remains, I bet most would expect a death or thrash bonanza. Well, a mighty big ass surprise would await upon spinning this thing! This is NWOBHM style metal by a British band that was part of the 80’s new wave but unable to land a record deal, despite adoring fans and supporters like Lars Ulrich. After founding singer/guitarist Dave Halliday killed himself in 1987, it seemed Hell had run it’s course. Fear not, for long time fan, friend and mega-producer Andy Sneap (Sabbat) has come to the rescue, convincing them to reform for another shot at metallic glory. With the surviving members together again along with new vocalist Dave Bower and Mr. Sneap as a second guitarist, we finally get that long awaited debut. So how do a bunch of songs that have been mothballed since the 80’s sound in 2011? Well, despite some great moments and obvious potential, its not a complete success. Allow me to elaborate.