Mar23

Haliphron – Prey Review

Haliphron – Prey Review

“Angry Metal Guy, Inc. is a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a paradox, like the world’s most mystifying turbriskafil. We both overrate and underrate every single record, according to our commentariat, and we are especially harsh and/or ass-kissing on commercially successful bands. But Arch Enemy has been a common enemy for years now. The condemnation of metal’s blandest headliner is practically uniform; the strongest defense on my last review of theirs amounted to a lone meek “Well I didn’t think it was that bad…” But in the interest of science, it behooves us to check on a control group. Another melodic death metal band with experienced members, female growls, and a bit of tinned symphonics.” Preypare the subject!

Demonstealer – The Propaganda Machine Review

Demonstealer – The Propaganda Machine Review

“India is now the world’s most populous country, but its metal output has remained embarrassingly small. Despite their millennia-old rich music traditions, these 1.4 billion strong have graced this site with just 24 records. Their quality varies wildly, from our first ever 0.0 to one of my favorite traditional heavy metal albums of the last decade. Mumbai’s The Demonstealer (Sahil Makhija) is one of the most prolific and talented members of this scene.” Gotta steal em’ all.

Olde Throne – In the Land of Ghosts Review

Olde Throne – In the Land of Ghosts Review

“A little over a year ago, New Zealander Harrison McKenzie dropped his debut full-length album as Olde Throne. It was a tight 39 minutes of harsh, cold atmospheric black metal delving into the horrors of An Gorta Mór, the Great Hunger, which took place in Ireland between 1845 and 1852 (better known, outside Ireland, as the Irish Potato Famine). Uncompromising and bleak, An Gorta Mór was a strong debut from the then-one-man project. For Olde Throne’s sophomore effort, McKenzie is joined by ex-Tainted drummer Quentin Forster and, together, the two Kiwis traverse the Irish sea, alighting In the Land of Ghosts,” Atmo-boo.

Lotan – Lotan Review

Lotan – Lotan Review

“Look, I get why some metalheads don’t like black metal. Repetitive riffing, washed-out production, monotonous snarls and shrieks. In the right hands, this baseline style can be thrilling, epic, and beautiful—or so I believe. Lotan, however, are not going to change any minds. Their self-titled debut cleaves about as close to the modern hybridized trve template as a seven-headed dragon around a Leviathan Cross.” Black for blackness’ sake.

Allfather – A Violent Truth Review

Allfather – A Violent Truth Review

“Nobody panic, but I’ve picked up Allfather, a band previously reviewed by the illustrious Mark Z. Awarding his 2018 AotY to the fantastic And All Will Be Desolation, he wrote “big burly riffs, gruff vocals, and rhythms that deftly shift to ensure heads will always be banged … the most purely metal thing I heard this year. Every moment feels like one you want to show your friends, while the lyrics are empowering, mature, and all too applicable to today’s world.” You know it’s good when it appeals to both me and Mark, and a description like that is a tough act to follow to say the least. After five years where everything has gone just great, A Violent Truth finds Allfather more pissed off than ever.” Angry dad.

Record(s) o’ the Month – March 2023

Record(s) o’ the Month – March 2023

As things have gotten busier and I’ve struggled with a lot of different things, it’s true that there is a burdensome aspect to being the guy who’s always doing the Record(s) o’ the Month. This year, I tried to approach this differently. I intended to use Zadion’s stupid fucking comment as the kind of bulletin board material that keeps motivating a guy to keep playing even when he’s on the verge of retirement due to his bum knee and a skyrocketing K-rate. But the “diabolical façade” cannot march on.

HateSphere – Hatred Reborn Review

HateSphere – Hatred Reborn Review

“This Danish quintet is back to massage your thighs with melodic coconut butter before headbutting you in the junk with their signature combination of groove and thrash. After taking longer than usual between albums, HateSphere has stripped back all those orchestral interludes and sprinklings of clean vox to deliver the back-to-basics Hatred Reborn to you. And new vocalist Mathias Uldall (from the metalcore outfit Royal Deceit) is along for the ride.” Touch the anger orb.

Kommand – Death Age Review

Kommand – Death Age Review

“Los Angeles band Kommand is the aural equivalent of a steak knife to the neck; when so many death metal bands are trying to become more and more complex, these guys are doing more with less. Death Age is the band’s sophomore full-length, and by clocking in at a trim 26 minutes, it’s meant to be enjoyed like a swift stab wound.” Death Kommands you.