“There is no shame in having loved and lost – it’s a natural part of life and, as sure as the world turns and the seasons pass, as inevitable as our own eventual end. Love and death are two themes that are routinely romanticized, despite their irrefutably painful reality. By extension, The Netherlands’ Antropomorphia are also romantics… although not in the Byronic sense you might be expecting.” Strange, illegal love indeed.
“As anyone whose late teenage years were lost in a fog of Jägermeister and regret will tell you, lessons learned the hard way often stay with you the longest; fuck things up badly enough and you won’t repeat the same mistake again anytime soon. There are, however, a few hardy souls upon whom this principle is destined to be forever lost—people to whom common sense and reason are just meaningless buzzwords dreamt up by the establishment. People like Chris Barnes.” Fight the power!
“When you get right down to it, the world fucking sucks. Even ignoring the current political situation in my home country and the environmental degradation occurring globally, what really gets me are the everyday frustrations. My printer stops working. My friends don’t text me back. My fucking car gets towed because it’s parked a few inches closer to the road than it’s supposed to be. Sometimes it feels like we’re all just stuck in a mad carnival of constant digital interruption and arbitrary regulation, to the point where we either drink ourselves to death from anxiety or say “fuck it all” and go live in a shack in the woods somewhere.” Doom Shack! Rusted.
“If there are any bands out there that I can safely claim to have a major allegiance to, it would certainly be England’s Anaal Nathrakh. Maybe it’s because their magic blend of black metal, industrialized noise, grindcore, and even some power metal elements strike a nerve like few other bands do. Or perhaps it’s because, whenever you hear people talk ill about really any type of metal (kill your mother, rape your dog, etc.), chances are the music that Anaal Nathrakh spawns are the exact sounds these people actively imagine in their heads.” Lock up your mothers, lock up your dogs.
“Look up “adversity” in the dictionary, and you’re likely going to encounter a picture of Brooklyn’s Candiria. The legendary hardcore outfit, made infamous through their fusion of hip-hop, freeform jazz, NYC hardcore, and death metal, crushed crowds the world over with their frenetic live show. Influential albums such as 1999’s The Process of Self-Development and 2001’s 300 Percent Density wowed listeners with their amorphous stop-on-the-crest-of-a-dime style changes, ridiculous lyrical flow by frontman Carley Coma, and the ability to keep things heavy. A horrific van accident that nearly killed the band in 2002 disrupted the momentum significantly.” Brooklyn strong.
“I’m not a fan of gimmick band names. I’m also not a fan of gimmick album names, or gimmick song titles, or gimmick bands in general. It’s just all too gimmicky. Maybe I’m just a cranky old fella (Angry Olde Guy?), but if I want comedy in an album I’ll throw on my old Howie Mandel cassette. So when I see an album called Jewel of the Vile, by a band called Necromancing the Stone, complete with saucy cover art, I groan.” Romancing the groan?
“I’ve been prolonging the YMIO article for Sodom’s debut Obsessed by Cruelty for months now. All year I’ve been trying to come up with the words that would do it justice. What “justice” that may be depends on the listener’s perspective. To these ears, this thirty-year-old debut is one hot mess of an album. But now that Sodom’s newest release, Decision Day, is upon us, I find the courage to pull Obsessed from the stockades to give it another listen.” The obsession may be olde, but the sodomy still burns.
“From a band that’s as much of an institution as any group this century could be, any new release is going to be big news, but it’s extra special for old Kronos, since Revocation albums are de facto milestones in my tenure at AMG. Three albums down, and I’m happy to say that my opinion of the band has yet to take a hit. 2014’s Deathless has stood the test of time despit.” Fanboys be fanning.
“Well, the day has come once more. The AMG staff is ashamed, Dr. Grier is a giddy school girl, and pure fanboyism is about to play out. Yep, the full-length debut from Denner/Shermann has finally hit the record shelves. “Oh, shit…,” you might be saying. Or maybe “Fuck me, here comes another 5.0/5.0.” But, keep this in mind: at least it isn’t a new King Diamond record.” Thank goodness for minor miracles.
“When it came time to hand out songwriting chops, Satan smiled on Abnormality. The Massachusetts quintet’s debut, Contaminating the Hive Mind, was a throat-crushing extravaganza of pure death metal that capitalized on the group’s seven years together previous to its release. Contaminating is an exemplar death metal record, fusing tight and energetic performance with succinct writing and an ear for brutality that few bands can match. It’s the undead embodiment of kickassery, and expectations are high for Mechanisms of Omniscience, especially after a four-year wait.” Fours years of anticipation makes Kronos an edgy guy.
