Mors Principium Est

Nightrage – The Venomous Review

Nightrage – The Venomous Review

“Sometimes, context is everything. Take Greek/Swedish melodeath stalwarts Nightrage and their 2005 release, Descent into Chaos. During a time when our digital voraciousness was yet gestating, the general availability of music limited, and my taste still fully receptive of Gothenburg metal, the subjective value of that objectively passable album became immense. Great riffs and melodies, catchy hooks, and an innate sort of aggressiveness bedazzled me. Listening to it today, it sounds good, if unremarkable and most certainly not at the level of some of the classics of the genre. Context, like I said, matters the most.” Nostalgia has limits.

70000 Tons of Metal: One Man’s Journey

70000 Tons of Metal: One Man’s Journey

“My friends ask me what happened, but my ability to verbally communicate has been reduced to moaning and a weeping noise that sounds something like a baby panda crying for milk. I wonder how I’m going to make it through the final day of this floating festival. I wonder when the aching will subside. I wonder where my life went so wrong. How did I end up here, on the 7th annual 70000 Tons of Metal cruise, weak with exhaustion and feeling like my body has been bludgeoned with a sledgehammer? My mind drifts back…” Tales from a 70000 ton heavy thing.

Mors Principium Est – Embers of a Dying World Review

Mors Principium Est – Embers of a Dying World Review

“Our readers seem to know our tastes better than we do. So, it’s probably not surprising to anyone that I’m reviewing (and loving) the new Mors Principium Est record. Especially when you compare it to my top picks of 2016. This is my bread ‘n’ butter and MPE’s crushing melodeath (from Inhumanity to their new record, Embers of a Dying World) is as much a part of me as my gray hair.” Thrash that olde gray head, he said.

Undrask – Battle Through Time Review

Undrask – Battle Through Time Review

“With a basic internet connection offering an up-to-the-minute cornucopia of quality metal releases, snap judgments have become an unfortunate way of life. On my first listen, Undrask came off as middling melodeath in the vain of acts emulating ClaymanIn Flames and peak Children of Bodom. Packaged in a blue-and-orange visage that could leave Michael Bay weak in the knees, debut Battle Through Time initially left me stifling a yawn. Sorry, better luck next time. NEXT!” A funny thing happened on the way to the review.

Aphyxion – Aftermath Review

Aphyxion – Aftermath Review

“Before I write this review, let me educate the non-American readers of this fine website about the amazing about-face that happens this time of year. Just one day before I finalized this review, our nation celebrated Thanksgiving, a day where we all sit around the table, eat turkey, unsuccessfully avoid all conversations about politics, and above all give thanks for what we have. I mention this because 24 hours later, a phenomenon known as Black Friday began. A day where all promises of thanks and gratefulness are dashed.” Fight for that discount waffle maker!

Whispered – Metsutan: Songs of the Void Review

Whispered – Metsutan: Songs of the Void Review

“Remember when Tom Cruise got cast as The Last Samurai in 2003? Some people on the Internet really do, and take time out of what must be a rich and fulfilling life to vomit up prose so salty it gives Dutch licorice a run for its money. Naturally it’s made into a sociopolitical issue, but I’m going to leave that alone because I’m not a fifth-rate hack who feels compelled to use the metal blog I write for as a soapbox to spew typo-laden opinions on contemporary politics and the like. Anyway, Mr. Cruise remained The Last Samurai for about a year, because in 2004 Finnish Samurai metal band Whispered came into existence.” Eat it, Tommy!

Kampfar – Profan Review

Kampfar – Profan Review

“There really is nothing like putting together an annual top-ten list. Critiquing, organizing, selecting, re-selecting, and rearranging right up to the deadline, like creating a haphazard grocery list as you suffer through a 48-hour fasting. As is the case with many of my colleagues, I pretty much had my list nailed down at the beginning of November with everything listed in an order I was 99% confident with. Well, that was until Kampfar’s Profan hit my inbox a week ago.” A plan is a list of things that aren’t going to happen.

The Black Dahlia Murder – Abysmal Review

The Black Dahlia Murder – Abysmal Review

“Like every reviewer on the face of the planet, my first thought when seeing the title of The Black Dahlia Murder’s latest full length was Wayne’s World: “Shitty Beatles? Are they any good?” “They suck.” “Then it’s not just a clever name.” To be honest, in the case of Detroit’s finest, I had a hard time believing that this was any kind of In Flames-esque “naming this record based on its meaning for the band” logic. That’s not really TBDM’s style, and well, let’s be honest, even at the very worst these guys have always put out very good music that I consistently get into fights over.” And said fisticuffs shall continue for the foreseeable future.