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Canis Dirus – Independence to the Beast Review

Canis Dirus – Independence to the Beast Review

“Our sharky hero runs, surgically-repaired legs pumping, swag clutched to his chest. He doesn’t look back. He doesn’t need to. He knows what’s chasing him: a velveteen puppet and a number that is two times six. Eventually, lungs heaving, he sinks down behind a dumpster to study his haul… This, dear reader, is a more a less accurate depiction of what it takes to successfully smuggle something tagged as ‘black folk metal’ out of the promo sump and how I come to be reviewing Minnesotan duo Canis Dirus‘ third full-length, Independence to the Beast.” Free beasts and folk thieves.

NONE – Damp Chill of Life [Things You Might Have Missed 2019]

NONE – Damp Chill of Life [Things You Might Have Missed 2019]

“Let’s get one thing straight from the get-go: I trvly don’t give a fuck about you, never have and never will. When I share something wonderful here, it’s because awesome Muppet is awesome, not because I want to improve your miserable lives; you deserve nothing and I hope you get less, yo. Accordingly, I write these TYMHM pieces not because *you* might have missed any gems I cover, but because *I* missed *my* chance to properly babble about them during the year.” Muppets unbound.

Lice – Woe Betide You Review

Lice – Woe Betide You Review

“So, yeah: Woe Betide You is a pretty sweet album. It’s not necessarily fighting for a spot on my current list of AotY candidates, yet Woe Betide You is one of the most dynamic albums I’ve reviewed to date, right up there with Great Leap Skyward‘s Map of Broken Dreams.” Infestivus.

Arkuum – Die Letzte Agonie Review

Arkuum – Die Letzte Agonie Review

“There are some truths which we all hold to be self-evident no matter who we are. Examples of such universal certainties include that you will breathe oxygen under a blue sky, fire will be hot eleven times out of ten, and that, one day, you will die. Most do their damnedest to disarm that last trvth bomb, but it’s the only thing Germany’s Arkuum are thinking about on their sophomore effort, Die Letzte Agonie. With a fittingly foreboding production and a staunch refusal to smile, one man fatalist army Arkas cradles that aforementioned bombshell like a kvlt and cvddly baby, singing life itself to sleep with a 50-minute blackened lullaby.”Hvsh little baby.