Oct20

Six Feet Under – Nightmares of the Decomposed Review

Six Feet Under – Nightmares of the Decomposed Review

“They say the best things in life are free. They also say honesty is free, but it’s not. In fact, it usually comes attached to a very high price. That moment you have a few too many and tell your partner what you really think of their mum. Explaining to your brother that you sold his son’s spleen on the black market just so you could buy more vinyl. Or the crushing fact that not all death metal is created equal. The genre’s favorite whipping boys Six Feet Under are living proof of this.” Six Feet Underwhelming.

Toadeater – Bit To Ewigen Daogen Review

Toadeater – Bit To Ewigen Daogen Review

“I see you sitting there, sipping coffee all judgmentally or taking a condescending dump on your break. You’re expecting the ol’ standby, but you ain’t gonna get it. You’re expecting me to call out that name Toadeater. Trust me, I know, it’s like a Princess and the Frog situation gone horribly wrong. But if you think I’m gonna rant, you’re wrong, buckaroo. Metal band names may be the first line of defense to size up the fortitude of your next blackened opponent, but I have the upper hand here.” Toad the wheat croquette.

Anaal Nathrakh – Endarkenment Review

Anaal Nathrakh – Endarkenment Review

“Normally, an introductory paragraph would see a reviewer (me, in this case) make a witty or deep observation that somehow, someway pertains to the album in question. That’s not happening today for two reasons. One, trying to come up with something witty or playful during such a shit time in everyone’s lives, week in and week out, becomes draining when I possess about as much joy to throw at you as the creative team at WWE possesses the ability to write captivating, enthralling television. And two, today’s subject isn’t about joy. Or happiness. Or humor. Rather, Anaal Nathrakh‘s eleventh album, Endarkenment encapsulates in roughly 41 minutes just what an absolute clusterfuck this year has been to everyone and everything.” Here’s pig cock in your eye.