“Music that sounds like it is all-important and all-encompassing just strikes a chord with me, transporting me beyond the mundane and into a cosmic realm of endless possibilities. Cognos’ self-titled debut taps into such omnipresence, which is why it caught my eye, but are the aforementioned chords struck or is there naught but dissonance ahead?” Cognos ov the cosmos.
“Science fiction in heavy metal has absolutely no business being as cool as it somehow is. What is it about thick, heavy synths and thicker, heavier guitars that feels like such a strong match? I don’t really like science fiction in general, but as a musical concept? It works. I don’t know what to tell you, it just does. The Design Abstract hail from the Canadian province of Ontario, and seem to understand the game, as Metemtechnosis is their third full-length release under this moniker—and their second this year. The group plays melodic death metal to tell their futuristic stories.” Designing the future.
“Burning Tongue is a quartet from New York, citing bands like Trap Them, His Hero is Gone, Bathory, and Celtic Frost as influences. Debut full-length Prisoner’s Cinema is their first release in eight years, since EP Blackest. At heart a hardcore punk band, these New Yorkers spew nihilistic sermons with fervor and intensity, dragging in influences of grind and death metal for a foray whose comparison feels a tad like a more hardcore-influenced Nails or Great American Ghost minus the deathcore.” Criminal entertainment.
“Black Sites has taken his entire collection of musical influences and presented it to you. What makes it unique is how he absorbs his love for bands like Van Halen, Judas Priest, Trouble, Black Sabbath, and Bay-area thrash (to name a few) and puts himself into them. We love Mark in these parts, but that doesn’t shadow the truth that he’s one of the best songwriters in metal today.”
“I’ve said it before. Pirating is a tough racket. No sooner do you find a bountiful treasure than you find yourself forcibly separated from said booty by rival marauders. There’s no dispute that Running Wild invented the whole “pirate metal” schtick way back in 1987 with their Under Jolly Roger opus, and they’ve tenaciously clung to the gimmick riggings ever since, releasing some 13 albums of vaguely buccaneer-themed heavy metal. Their last voyage was 2016s Rapid Foray, which wasn’t their most sea-worthy endeavor, but now they return to the swashing and buckling only to face stiff competition from younger, hungrier acts like Blazon Stone, who’ve pilfered all but the moniker from the original sea dogs.” Blood and gimmicks.
“Contrary to popular belief, we adhere to some concrete rules around these parts. You always put the toilet seat back down when you’re finished. You never, ever speak to the whereabouts of former writers once they move on to greener pastures. Finally, you don’t swipe another reviewer’s band unless you get permission first. Long story short, I nabbed When the Day Years For Light by German post-metallers A Secret Revealed without realizing that Cherd tackled their last one, Sacrifices, just two years ago. That said, after profusely apologizing to the sagely-bearded one, not once did he fight me for reviewing rights.” Promo chess and poorly kept secrets.
“Another day, another metal album flaunting our cosmic insignificance in the face of unfathomable monstrosity. Lovecraft and death metal are like milk and honey, so Lord Cthulhu Almighty, take me to the promised land. Bands like Sulphur Aeon, Abyssal Ascendant, and Catacombs pluck my heartstrings with tentacled grace and eldritch care, taking my mind’s eye to the depths of R’lyeh – and it’s fucking Christmas in the abyss year-round, baby.” How Bizarre.
“Sometimes I forget why I seized a particular promo, as weeks and even months can pass between wading into the primordial muck to retrieve it and finally sitting down to marinate in the righteously poached product. When it came time to get cuddely with Grand Cadaver’s debut full-length, I had no real sense of why I took it beyond the cool name and the vague “death metal” tag emblazoned on its filthy outer shell. As the music washed over me I was greeted with the oh-so-familiar buzzing of classic Swedeath, but as the vocals assailed my ear sockets, I felt an immediate pang of recognition.” Old corpse, new maggots.
“Waking the Cadaver is a few things to a lot of people. The first and most obvious one is them being the “Shredded Wheat” band from what was arguably the first popular metal meme. It was also the most memorable and probably the funniest, rivaled only by the Trivium “Boat Rudder” one and some gems from that page which dealt exclusively in Mortician memes. The second one, almost equally obvious, is that Waking the Cadaver traffic in a somewhat…controversial take on extreme metal which is often offensive to the ears of normies and metalheads alike. Third, Waking the Cadaver has some vitriolic bad reviews on Metal Archives. My favorite album of theirs, Perverse Recollections of a Necromangler, sits at a kingly 25% average – a firm 1.0/5.0 on the AMG scale.” Respect the dead’s authoritah!
“Where Hatred Dwells and Darkness Reigns floored me the first time I heard it back in 2017. I suspect that I liked it a fair bit more than Ferrous Beuller
did, but his review (one of the first reviews I read on this site, in fact) is how I discovered it, so I owe him big-time. Zornheym’s blend of symphonic bombast with blackened death wrapped in Shutter Island-esque psychological horror sold me right away. Four years later, I still return to it often. The Swedish quartet announced the follow-up to Where Hatred Dwells and Darkness Reigns a few months ago, and since then Ferrous and I spent much time gossiping and whispering in anticipation for The Zornheim Sleep Experiment.” To sleep, perchance to fanboy.
