Painkiller

Primal Fear – Metal Commando Review

Primal Fear – Metal Commando Review

“Anthems, man. Big, beefy, brainless metal anthems. We all love em, and there are some bands born to churn em out. Primal Fear is at the front of that mob, throwing elbows and spilling cheap beer on posers. Unsurprisingly, lucky album 13, the cringe-inducing yet righteously titled Metal Commando is another big ball o’ metal anthems.” Metal forces.

The Three Tremors – The Three Tremors Review

The Three Tremors – The Three Tremors Review

“Some ideas sound great in theory. Fewer look good when put to paper. That crucial step of transforming an idea from paper into reality? Well, let’s just say only the best of the bunch should see the harsh light of day. Taking three of metal’s premier wailers and screamers and having them lustily compete with one another for an album’s worth of over-the-top manic hysteria is not such a worthy concept. Aptly named The Three Tremors, this project features Tim “Ripper” Owens (ex-Judas Priest, ex-Iced Earth), Harry “The Tyrant” Conklin (Jag Panzer, Satan’s Host), and Sean (no cool nickname) Peck (Cage, Denner/Sherman).” Banshee business.

Manimal – Purgatorio Review

Manimal – Purgatorio Review

“Look, I get it. Manimal isn’t a great band name. Hell, it isn’t even a good one. But for once, I need you overly judgmental metal hacks to look past that and keep whatever passes for an open mind round these parts. Highly dubious moniker aside, Manimal is a talented Euro-power band with the good sense to graft a ton of traditional metal akin to Judas Priest‘s Painkiller to their sound for extra muscle.” From Garanimal to Manimal.

Judas Priest Worst to First: 5-1

Judas Priest Worst to First: 5-1

“On March 9th, Judas Priest will release their 18th album, Firepower. This makes it the ideal time to take a long wistful look back over their historic catalog and rank their albums from worst to first according to the esteemed tastes of me, Lord Protector Steel.” Here comes the metal countdown, run for your lives!

Grave Digger – Healed by Metal Review

Grave Digger – Healed by Metal Review

“It’s a brand new year – a fresh beginning for all of our personal stories and a clean, blank slate for metal music. Now is the time to take risks, to be daring, to innovate. Just kidding, it’s actually time for the 17th goddamn album of monochromatic meat n’ taters metal from the unstoppable Germanic horde called Grave Digger.” Well, that de-escalated quickly.

Manimal – Trapped in the Shadows Review

Manimal – Trapped in the Shadows Review

“This is quite a surprise, as I never expected to hear from these guys again. Manimal (who’s name I hate because it reminds me of the ultra cheesy 70s sci-fi show) dropped a promising debut in 2009 then proceeded to fall off the edge of the world. I forgot them, life went on and then, BOOM! A new Manimal album arrives in my promo bin.” No one knows when the Manimal may strike!

Satan’s Host – Pre-dating God Parts I and II Review

Satan’s Host – Pre-dating God Parts I and II Review

“This is a strange metal saga, so bear with me. Satan’s Host formed way back in 1977 as a classic American metal band not far removed from Priest and Maiden. Though lurking in the shadows for years, they weren’t able to get anything released until 1985 when the band was joined by the ever mighty Harry “The Tyrant” Conklin of Jag Panzer fame. Their Metal From Hell debut attained a sort of cult status for its hijacking of Mercyful Fate‘s sound and the mystery of who was and wasn’t in the band (thus making them the original Ghost).” Steel Druhm didn’t see this coming and got sucker punched…twice!

Wolf – Devil Seed Review

Wolf – Devil Seed Review

Wolf has been running at the forefront of the retro metal pack for a while now, surpassing even the vainglorious cheese meisters of Hammerfall. They’ve done so with slick, memorable song writing and a healthy respect for their elders like Judas Priest, Iron Maiden and Mercyful Fate. Although they’re utterly devoid of originality or new influences, they’ve been uncannily skilled at aping and raping the past for golden metal moments of steel. 2011s Legions of Bastards had a strong Painkiller vibe, but Devil Seed slows things down and adopts a darker,more restive, simmering mood, like a filthy mob of commoners perpetually on the verge of rioting against the haughty upper crust.” Honey, the Wolf is at the door again!

Judas Priest – Redeemer of Souls Review

Judas Priest – Redeemer of Souls Review

“What I’m about to say comes after a long and devoted love affair withJudas Priest: they should have broken up after Painkiller. Don’t agree? Well, let’s review. The Ripper era was reheated rhino shit and as our reward for steadfast loyalty we got the lukewarm Angel of Retribution only to be punished with the double length dumpster fire that was Nostradamus. Still not convinced? Maybe Redeemer of Souls will be the straw that breaks the law.” Hear that? It’s the sad wings of destiny flapping overhead.