“I’ll be honest: I don’t give a fuck about most new music out there today. Lately, the only thing I want to listen to is blackened death, blackened thrash, and the occasional hardcore band that actually has interesting guitar parts. Fortunately, bands like Prosanctus Inferi are here to provide new music that I’m actually interested in hearing.” Blood art is fine art.
“Fornicus was a name I never expected to see in our promo bin again. Formed in 2012, this Kentucky group first came to my attention with their terrific 2014 debut Storming Heaven, a sweaty and dynamic piece of blackened death metal that at times reminded me of other great American acts like Ares Kingdom and Abominant.” What’s burning? YOU!
“It’s 6:50 PM on a cold Saturday night. I’m tapping my foot impatiently, waiting for my lovely girlfriend — a few months my elder, and perhaps a bit slower moving, therefore — to come out from her room. ‘Come on, darling,’ I say, double-checking my tie in the mirror, ‘we’ll be late if we don’t leave soon.’ I hear the door open, and expect to be floored; she always looks so good in dresses, and this is a formal event. I turn around and do a triple-take — she’s wearing a strawberry onesie. I’m left confused as to what her intentions were, and I may perhaps never figure it out. May as well make the most of it, right? This ethos permeated my listening time with the Finnish band Vuohi’s debut full-length Witchcraft Warfare.” Kitchen sink-core.
“With the dawn of a new year and all the changes that come with it, sometimes it’s good to keep in mind the things that stay the same. That is: Judge Judy will always provide excellent daytime television. The “cockroach mosh” video will never not be funny. And Hells Headbangers will continue to deliver a seemingly endless supply of barbaric extreme metal pulled from countries I’m only familiar with thanks to National Geographic.” Mysterious and riffy.
“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I really don’t need originality in my music. Take last month’s Necroblood album. Though it hardly did anything groundbreaking, that record gave me all the Satan, blastbeats, and atom-bomb riffing I could ask for.” Can Possession provide maximum Satan?
“Another day, another blackened death release from Hells Headbangers. It’s not that I don’t like what the label puts out — the past few years have seen great material from Destrukor, Denouncement Pyre, and Profanatica, to name but a few. But it’s albums like Morbid Death Tales that make me wonder if some bands just utilize a filthy sound and the ‘no trends, just pure metal!’ aesthetic as an excuse for churning out music which is half-assed, knowing full well that members of their ‘kvlt’ fanbase will rabidly devour it regardless.” A diet overly high in kvlt is not recommended.
“Try as I may I can’t understand what’s so compelling about anti-Christian blasphemy in metal. Have bands not realized that the Satanic Panic ended in the last millennium? Do they think they’re actually offending anyone, or making any argument, no matter how hack, that hasn’t been made before? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that bands like American black-death blasphemers Profanatica should give up on their blasphemies against Christ. I just don’t understand how such ideals can animate good music.” Blasphemy!
“To pilfer a phrase from the revered postmodern philosopher Christopher B. Bridges, “there’s something wrong if you can’t stand still.” If his words are to be taken at face value, Germany’s Thornesbreed must have sensed a problem in their sound. Consisting of competent but unexciting death metal, their 2003 debut The Splendour of the Repellent was followed up eight years later in 2011 by the 273.15 Degrees Below Freezing EP, which can, for the sake of expediency, be described as “Profanatica but not as good.” 2015 sees the band releasing their second full-length in the form of the enigmatically titled GTRD, marking another step in the band’s perpetual musical wanderings.” Wandering, meandering and change for change’s sake. Is that a recipe for success?
