“First things first, that artwork: a hulking antediluvian fish bearing down with spread fins and tangled tentacles on the tiny figure illuminated in the depths. If that doesn’t indicate musical magnitude I don’t know what does. Abyssius, on their debut, self-titled LP, explore the concept of one overcoming the confrontational nature of life’s meaninglessness—just as that behemoth looms, so does the bleak and hollow void.” Fish and nothingness.
“The U.K.’s Final Coil have once, twice graced these halls under the watchful gaze of our benevolent taskmaster Steel. But his eyes are all denim and leather these days, leaving me to find the band’s latest The World We Inherited languishing in the Dry January promo sump. Blending post and prog metal with a healthy dose of grunge, it’s been four years since they dropped their last LP, The World We Left Behind for Others. Unsurprisingly this 2024 release is connected to its predecessors, the third and final piece in the band’s “Persistence” triptych. Concept-driven albums are natural draws for this reviewer, an excellent choice for ushering in the new year.” Triple Coil points!
“There is something familiar and charming about what Green Lung do and do so well. Blending the likes of Sabbath, Jethro Tull, Boston and more, the band harks back to an earlier time and, on Black Harvest, managed to do that with their own voice. However, there are lots of other things I can reach to for comfort and familiarity, perhaps explaining why I haven’t reached for Black Harvest until thinking about this review. What staying power does This Heathen Land have?” Of Lungs and lands.
“When it comes to selecting promo, the easiest way into my heart is through a vibrant, colorful piece of album artwork. Australian progressive metal quartet Hemina apparently knew this, as the artwork for fifth outing Romancing the Ether pops with its Lisa-Frank-edition-of-Journey cover. After acquiring reviewing rights from our esteemed GardensTale, I jumped right in, excited to hear what adventurous music lay just beyond that psychedelic veil.” Color is the key.
“It seemed like a fun challenge. Like the kid you dared to eat a tater tot after its been up someone else’s nose, I couldn’t resist the temptation to take on 79 bloated minutes of excessive, symphonic concept metal from one of Long Island’s unsung legends. Maybe it’s masochism, maybe it’s the need for attention, maybe it’s a Fight Club-like desire to stand outside the door long enough with my boots and shirts that Steel Druhm will invite me in to Project Mayhem and I’ll get a Judas Priest promo. Either way, the boss was clearly done with Virgin Steele after his previous, less-than-flattering reviews and no one else was touching this thing.” Steel avoidance.
There are some labels that you just know will deliver something interesting. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll like what you get but it will be different. I, Voidhanger is one such label. The Anchoret’s label, Willowtip is another. So, despite knowing nothing about progressive five-piece The Anchoret, or its debut, It All Began with Loneliness, I was ready for a journey.” Strange places, dark spaces.
“Much like a first love, a first review will always hold a special place in your heart. I popped my AMG cherry on Hex A.D.’s cheeky 2018 offering, Netherworld Triumphant. While dad-metal isn’t usually my thing, the confident and eclectic blend of influences the band served up, ranging from Cathedral to Sabbath, may not have been original, but it sure was a lot of fun. 2020’s follow-up, Astrotongue in the Electric Garden, dialed up the sex references even further, doubled down on the psychedelia, and signposted a band on the cusp of something great. When Funeral Tango for Gods and Men dropped, I took one look at the zany cover and figured this was it: these Norwegians were ready to ascend.” Funerary fuzz.
“Do you ever have that feeling of listening to an album and feeling that it’s somehow better than you’re giving it credit for? Or, as GardensTale put it to me, the feeling that “I’m probably just not good enough for the album”? That’s how I felt about the second full-length from Vancouver’s Neck of the Woods, until about 4pm today.” You’re good enough and people like you.
“I’m not sure what, if any, expectations I had for Finnish alt metallers Somehow Jo when I etched my crude shark sigil into the review boulder by their name. It’s not a moniker that really speaks to me and the artwork – although quite pretty – also doesn’t give a lot away. But you can be sure that any expectations I may have unconsciously harbored, plummeted when I read that sophomore album Tusk was written largely in a “small bunker next to a shady titty bar” and that, throughout, the band prioritized “freshness and originality in all of the ideas we’ve brought for the other members to be eaten and then later to be defecated in to a demo of some kind.”” Jo momma.
“Much like my need to take the infrequent day off from work, I occasionally require a break from the never-ending storm that is extreme metal. When I require such dalliances with lighter fare, I generally choose prog-metal or something bumping shoulders with post-whatever. Established bands like Voyager, Dreadnought or Fair to Midland are my go-to’s. Hailing from Norway, Astrosaur get their foot in the door with their sophomore full-length Obscuroscope, an instrumental post/prog/jazz album that promises to satisfy my Chillaxoproxin™ fix.” Relaxosaur.
