Rage

Almanac – A Discographic Review [Tsar (2016), Kingslayer (2017) and Rush of Death (2020)]

Almanac – A Discographic Review [Tsar (2016), Kingslayer (2017) and Rush of Death (2020)]

“For the last four years, I have been neglecting—and you have been denied my Very Important Opinion™ about—one of the most idiosyncratic voices in metal: Victor Smolski. And so, in a Swallow the Sun-sized act of hubris, I’m writing a discographic review of Victor Smolski’s Almanac.” You can’t spell “Almanac” without MAN!

U.D.O. / Musikkorps der Bundeswehr – We Are One Review

U.D.O. / Musikkorps der Bundeswehr – We Are One Review

“If you made a short list of metal luminaries who you’d want to record a massive concept album with a 60 piece orchestra, I have a sneaking suspicion Udo Dirkschneider wouldn’t make the cut. To be blunt, I doubt the raspy-voiced Teutonic terror would make the long list either, yet here we are. You see, the man who once fronted Accept has somehow impressed the Concert Band for the German Armed Forces (Musikkorps der Bundeswehr) into service for a collaboration titled We Are One.” Hot Tuba.

Everlore – Everlore Review

Everlore – Everlore Review

“Ah, an unheralded, unsigned power metal band from Finland. Experience tells me this will either be disastrously bad or shocking good. The craptacular cover art suggests the former, as does the fact that GardensTale claimed the promo then promptly hurled it back in the promo muck before running into the night like a cowardly shirker. Steel fears no power known to man nor beast, so this shall be reviewed nonetheless!” Lore-core.

Judicator – The Last Emperor Review

Judicator – The Last Emperor Review

“Before diving in, let’s make one thing clear to newcomers to this band: Judicator worships Blind Guardian, and has been doing so since vocalist John Yelland and guitarist Tony Cordisco decided to form a band after meeting at a BG concert in 2012. Over the course of four albums, the band has displayed a steadfast dedication to carrying on the German pioneers’ legacy, splicing hooky, thrashing power metal with mountainous vocal harmonies while simultaneously carving their own melodic niche.” Judicator is Blind!

The 3rd Attempt – Egocidal Path Review

The 3rd Attempt – Egocidal Path Review

“While another release from The 3rd Attempt wouldn’t get so much as a shrug from most metalheads, I’ve been fucking waiting all year for Egocidal Path. As anyone might be able to tell from reading 2015’s Born in Thorns review, I love anything Tchort gets his hands on. Be it Carpathian Forest, Green Carnation, or Blood Red Throne, I’m there. And being that the debut was a solid release of Nattefrost and Carpathian Forest-inspired black ‘n’ roll, I can’t help but get excited about the follow-up.”

Vhäldemar – Against All Kings Review

Vhäldemar – Against All Kings Review

“A Spanish band that’s been active since 1999, Vhäldemar released a pair of relatively well received albums in the early 00’s, featuring influences far-flung as Gamma Ray, Manowar, and Rhapsody. After independently releasing a couple of underwhelming records in the early half of this decade, they’ve found a new home with Fighter Records, a label known around these parts for harboring the disasterpiece that is Tales of Gaia‘s Hypernova.” Power metal: Approach with caution.

Rage – Seasons of the Black Review

Rage – Seasons of the Black Review

“OK, so maybe I don’t have Netflix and, maybe, I thought Twitter was a porn site. And, maybe, I haven’t owned or played a video game in two decades or watched my beloved Yankees whip the Red Sox in over five years. And, maybe, the reason is that I don’t watch TV (or have one). So what if I like to sit around with my old man and talk about the Battle of Franklin? What if I like to have my breakfast at 4:30 every morning? And, so what if it’s currently 4 am right now? Maybe I have gray in my beard. Maybe I have gray in my pubes. That doesn’t make me fucking old. It’s not my fault I’m way more mature and far busier than the rest of you. You want old? Go find Huck, Steel, and Rage.”Silver and olde, silver and olde.

Orden Ogan – Gunmen Review

Orden Ogan – Gunmen Review

“In a year when two bands already dropped ill-conceived wild west themed albums with naturally disastrous results, well-respected Germanic power metallers, Orden Ogan choose to ride into Devil’s Gulch on a white horse. And cheese followed with them. Gunmen is the bands unusual follow up to 2015s slick, enjoyable Ravenhead opus, trading in their armor and axes for six shooters, pemmican and saddle sores.” Mamma, don’t let your Euro-power grow up to be cowboys.

Arthemis – Blood – Fury – Domination Review

Arthemis – Blood – Fury – Domination Review

“Until recently, Arthemis had been one of around a few dozen bands I’d always had a mild curiosity for but had never bothered to closely investigate. I’m convinced the only reason I knew of their existence was because they included Power Quest’s vocalist and guitarist (Alessio Garavello and Andrea Martongelli, respectively) amongst their ranks, though now only the latter remains in the band. I also vaguely remembered them from high school as one of a handful of power metal bands that had a propensity for including bare breasts on their album covers, which always struck me as an ironic practice for what might be metal’s least sexy genre.” From Power Quest to Power Chests.

Stormhammer – Welcome to the End Review

Stormhammer – Welcome to the End Review

“Life’s a wild, fucking adventure that’s about as satisfying as it is annoying. For every high, there’s a massive low. For every milestone, there’s a setback. For every breakthrough, there are countless failures. Sometimes it gets to the point where all you remember from one day to the next is the bullshit. What does this have to do with Stormhammer and their sixth LP Welcome to the End? A hell of a lot.” Life is pain and power metal can be too.