“Voodoo Circle make Steel and I yearn for the olde days, when we would sit on the veranda in our trailer park, drinking hobo wine out of pickle jars, listening to mixtapes of Blue Murder, Whitesnake, Great White, and the Scorpions. It was a simpler time: hairspray-soaked blues metal dominated the scene, and there were four main lyrical topics: love, bad love, dirty love, and sex. You can’t get away with that in today’s climate, but that won’t stop Voodoo Circle from trying.” Sex is love.
“Screamer, a group of jovial Norwegian retro-rock revivalists, are putting out their third Hell Machine soon, and there’s a very particular standard by which it ought to be judged. The standard I’m referring to is Audrey Horne’s masterful Pure Heavy, far and away the best record of the retro-rock revival movement.” Mess with Audrey, you get the Horne.
“Like the Trials album which preceded it, however, In Monochrome is unapologetically modern, but it has two feet firmly planted in the feel(s) of yesteryear. And it is the feeling of being a traditional metal album—without being remotely derivative—which makes In Monochrome an excellent album.” I mean, what more do you want for an endorsement than that!?
“If you’ve been reading these here blog pages over the years you’ve learned that Steel Druhm loves his dirty 70s hippie rock. Spiritual Beggars is a super duper mega group composed of some of metal’s most respected folks and guess what? They play filthy hippie rock just the way it should be played (dirty?). Featuring former members of Carcass, Opeth, Mercyful Fate and Shining, you might not expect so much dirt-core, but man, these cats rock so hard, free and trve, they may accidentally bring back the Age of Aquarius (or Cthulhu, same difference).” Prepare to be grooved unto bliss.
“When AMG himself dropped a promo on me from a new band from former Gypsyhawk members called Gygax, named after the Godfather of D&D himself, E. Gary Gygax, I was both intrigued and skeptical. I love my metal and nerd tendencies, and Gygax had better come in with a decent THAC0 and saving throw if they wanted to withstand a lashing from yours truly.”
“Well, kids, let this be a lesson to you all. Dropping clickbait jokes and fucking too much with the AMG HR department results in the dropping of various hammers. In my case, punishments manifested themselves in the form of name-calling (Steel called me a “Master Baiter”) and a metalcore promo for review.” The core will flow until you praise our new logo.
“Geoff Tate cannot be stopped. Getting fired from Queensryche barely slowed him down, and a lengthy court battle over the band name just made him mad. Hell, we even begged him to show us mercy, but he denied us. Instead, Tate has delivered The Key, the debut outing by his creatively-named new project Operation: Mindcrime.” Someone, somewhere deserves this.
“Being of the ‘80s thrash generation, I was born a few years too late to experience the actual birth of metal first hand. As a result, I have had to seek out that old-school sound and those pioneers of what we now know as “metal.”” And seek out he did.
“Mystic is a curious beast indeed, fusing prog-power with a spacey feel and Eastern-influenced, Oriental (for lack of a better word) synths. Citing inspiration from Ritchie Blackmore and his awesome work on Rainbow’s Rising in their pursuit of Eastern influences, Elderoth foolishly stacked the odds against themselves. Can you possibly believe the hype?” Blackmore laughs at you from his mountain.
“Originally conceived as a super group-ish side project for Helloween’s Uli Kusch and Roland Grapow, Masterplan soon became the duo’s main gig after their ignominious firing by those silly Germanic Pumpkin rockers. Although they planned to have the Lordly Russel Allen as the singer, they instead released two solid albums of melodic power metal helmed by the mighty Jorn Lande (yes AMG, we know you don’t think he’s that mighty). While Jorn left, then rejoined to record the less than stirring Time to Be King opus, it appears he left yet again, as Novum Initium features the talents of the well-travelled Rick Altzi (ex-At Vance, ex-Thunderstone, Herman Frank).” Are you sick of hearing about how awesome Jorn is? Apparently Masterplan is too, since they seem determined to beat him at his own hard rocking game. But can they bring as much heavy rock to the land as Jorn can?
