“We predicted October would be a sticky wicket of a month for the put upon electors of Best in Show, and it certainly was. Any number of killer platters could have been hoisted overhead and declared the new Golden Calf without damaging our enormous metal cred and everyone had their own personal favorite clutched tightly to their steely bosoms. So how did we decide?” Civics lessons for free, only at AMG!
“They say it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. AMG Industries and Unihorn Distribution Inc., have wholeheartedly adopted this adage, especially when it comes to the Record(s) o’ the Month. In other words; you may get them late, but at least you get them, so pipe down about it! Now that we have the proper mindset established, we can proceed productively.” Yadda-yadda-yadda, here it is!
“Yeah, we’re a bit late with these. Angry Metal Guy has an assload of moving parts and sometimes things get lost in the mix. For example: me. During August, I fell off the face of the earth and only resurfaced recently, with a chest cold and, I’m told by cautious people standing at a distance, a “crazy glint” in my eye. Regardless of the state of my unitary mindbody (take that Descartes!), the Record(s) o’ the Month must go on. So here you go.”
“Rare is the month where the AMG staffers can come together in the spirit of brotherhood and goodwill and choose a Record o’ the Month without hurling insults, chairs and lead at one another. July was one such rare and joyous occasion, if only because chairs and firearms were not available at the ice cream social/selection meeting.” Yay, team building!
“It’s a blast from the past! That’s right, the Record(s) o’ the Month for June are finally here. And boy howdy, I gotta say that it was tough to get to these. There was plenty of infighting, accusations of me being a distant and cold tyrant. A psychoanalyst was called in. Then the police. Turns out that Steel Druhm may have lots of daddy issues, but he also hates talking about them and has a massive gun collection. We managed to get through this whole thing only slightly injured and now that I’m out of the hospital I’m posting this. So here you have it, Ye Olde Recordes o’ the Monthe for June.”
It’s that time again. And by “that time,” I mean the time when Steel Druhm throws a public fit because his little slice of nostalgia isn’t going to be the Record o’ the Month. He will complain loudly in the comments. He will post complaints and whine. But alas, this month it was pretty obvious who the RotM should belong to. Break out your flamethrowers! Commence the wailing and/or gnashing of teeth! The misery is gonna get Biblical up in here.
It’s not often that the Record(s) o’ the Month are decided before a month has already begun, but April got pretty close to being just that. In fact, I feel a little guilty about it, because the month that has been is surprisingly packed with music that I—and the other writers here—love. There wasn’t much of a fight about it, what with all the ruling with an Iron Fist of Steel™ and all, but I would like to apologize to all the contributors who reviewed awesome stuff this month which is getting ignored on this list. I’m sure your complaints will be aired aggressively in the comment section. I’m glad I’ve given you something to get your blood pumping. I’ve heard that sitting around reading metal blogs all day is bad for your health.
What’s this? Record(s) o’ the Month posted on the last day of March? This can’t last!
If I’d thought further ahead, I’d have come up with a fantastic joke about the fact that we’re releasing this February edition of the Record(s) o’ the Month on the 29th of February—that’s right, a leap year. This seldom-occurring date is, of course, special in a lot of different ways and made even more special by the fact that I am once again delivering the Record(s) o’ the Month on time. Well, not just on time, but early. Despite everything—and literally I have so much to do because I spent nearly ⅔ of February fucking sick—I am bucking up and telling you what the best record o’ the month for February was. And you should probably have seen these coming…
“It’s the new year! And that means new starts. What’s going to be new with the Record(s) o’ the Month in 2016? Well, pretty much nothing. I plan to be just as opinionated, stubborn, and unreliable as I can be. Because now I have Unimpeachable Scientific Proof™ that my choices are pretty much fucking representative of the choices of the entire staff at Angry Metal Guy. Yeah, sure, some people might not agree with me all the time, but in aggregate—which as we know from the rise of Big Data and the Technocratic Rule is the only data that matters—my opinion is still trend-setting and all-important. Put that in your pipe and smoke it I Give a 4.0 to Everything That Reeks of Nostalgia and Desperation Druhm. So my wimpy prog choices? Yeah, they’re gonna keep coming. My not caring about the newest super true Demilich clone? Oh, it will continue. My total disinterest in anyone’s opinion but my own? Yup, that’s the whole point of this blog.”
